Reflections...

Three months left until graduation. All I can say is... WOW! Aside of being so proud of myself, I sometimes wonder if things didn't turn out the way they did, would I be where I am at today? As long as I can remember my dream was to become a nurse (eventually a doctor but baby steps Cyn, baby steps).

A couple years ago I fell madly in love with someone who I thought was my soul mate. We settled down together and made us a little love shack. Life was a struggle in every aspect, especially financially. I stopped going to school because we couldn't afford it. I knew I'd eventually go back, I just didn't know when. One thing led to another and after a couple years, we realized it just wasn't meant to be and threw in the towel. I packed my clothes, my desk (and computer), and my dogs and drove the somber three hour drive home. I was completely lost. I didn't know how to be "me" instead of "us".

I quickly picked myself up and marched on. I enrolled back in school to pursue my dream. I found myself again and I relished the single life (And STILL DO) because once its gone, its gone. Also because relationships make it difficult to focus. I took my pre-reqs and I remember applying for the nursing program (I also managed to earn two degrees, well associates, but degrees nonetheless). The expectations/requirements were high and I doubted myself and didn't think I would qualify. Despite my apprehensions I applied and I started my transition to earn my Bachelors in Biology just in case I didn't get in. That summer, I got my letter of ACCEPTANCE into the nursing program. Not bad I must say. I remember anticipating the letter. When it finally came I couldn't open it. My hands were shaking. THIS WAS IT. I opened it and the tears just flowed. I called everyone: my mom, my best friend, my close friends, my brother, EVERYONE! My cup overflowed with joy. That was almost three years ago. And here I stand... three months left until graduation.

This has been a great experience despite the lack of sleep, ehhh... somewhat of a disturbance in my social life (but not too much ; )) and family life, but it all was worth it. I'm not there yet, but I've been reflecting on everything that got me to this point. There are only 4 1/2 weeks left of actual class time, then we take our HESI if I pass the class, then passing the HESI leads me to my preceptorship. I am so close I can taste it. Nothing can stop me but myself, and I will be damned if that happens. And so what I was getting at... If I hadn't gone through all that I have where would I be? A struggling wife trying to make the best of what we had, a single mother trying to care for my child? I'll never know, but what I do know to be true is that everything happens for a reason. I am glad they did, and I'll never ask why.

I've made plans to move to San Antonio once I am done with school so I can pursue my education and work (obviously). I said the only thing that can keep me here is my grandmother, and by the looks of it, seems like I am not going anywhere (JUST YET). I cant leave her in her condition. I cant leave grandpa to be at home alone to care for her even though my aunt comes just about every day. I don't know... I'll see what is in store for me. AND I CANT WAIT! :D