I cant believe how fast time is going. Before I know it, Baby Matthew will be here (in roughly 11 weeks)... I don't think I'm ready just yet, besides, I'm barely starting to enjoy my pregnancy. Of course, I still have a million and one fears that go through my head everyday and the fact that I am such a hypochondriac seriously doesn't help, but I've learned to appreciate and enjoy this little piece of heaven.
I'm still eating too much :-/ and gaining too much... That reminds me, my grandpa calls me to check up on me and the baby and the other day he called and out of nowhere he asked if I was getting fat lol, I said yes... He reminded me of my Grammy... she was always concerned about my weight, and everyone else's lol. I remember the last night I was with her at the hospital before she passed away. She was on Bi-pap since her O2 Sats were very low so she couldn't speak, well I couldn't hear her and didn't want her to take off her mask, I told her I loved her and that I would check on her in the morning, both she and I knew that she probably wouldn't make it till the morning so she gave me a hug, we shed a tear or two trying to be strong, and she pat my tummy... I said, I know, I know... I'll watch my weight while rolling my eyes and grinning from ear to ear realizing that was the last thing she would ever tell me... Gosh, I miss her so much, it will be 2 years 9/11 and it still feels like yesterday. I wish she could be here to see Matthew, and the two other babies our family has been blessed with (Cousin Amy having a boy, and Cousin Melissa having a girl). Anyhow, grandpa really reminded me of grandma when he said that... it's just funny because that wasn't something I expected him to say or ask lol. Oh well, no offense taken, I've gained weight, it is what it is.
I did a little shopping today, even though I said I wasn't going to. I even shopped for myself, I bought some comfort sandals that I had been wanting... and some sneakers for work (last week). I actually feel kind of guilty for spending on myself, but I think I needed them, especially because my legs have been swelling like crazy (my BP is good so no worries yet). Speaking of swelling, seems like everything else is growing too... I'm starting to feel like a cow. I woke up this morning thanking God I didn't have utters between my legs, LOL. So the chafing I mentioned previously has stopped, partly due to the Lady Anti-Monkey Butt (Makes me laugh every time) and partly cause I stopped wearing those wretched maternity underwear. Yes, I still wear underwear, just not those... I'm back to my old faithfuls, but they are either starting to roll down in the front or ride up in the back... but all is good, cause NO CHAFING! Enough with the TMI...
I am still feeling very exhausted, I go to work and back and all I wanna do is take a nap. I did start walking like I mentioned I would (just not everyday so I don't think that helps much) I've been shopping more so that kinda counts lol. But yes... I am EXHAUSTED... WARNING DISCLAIMER: You do not want to wake up next to me, wake me up, or be in my path after a nap. Do so at your own risk. No, I don't wake up looking scary or with fiery dragon breath (but I do suffer from both occasionally in the morning lol, just being honest), I have been waking up with a bad mood from hell. I think it has to do with the fact that my mind is already refreshed from the nap, but my body isn't. It takes me a while to snap out of it... thankfully, I don't wake up like that in the morning, at least for my patients' sake. Speaking of naps/sleep, I'm ready to hit the sack and start a new week. P.S. I don't like Mondays :-/
Saturday, May 14, 2011
Sunday, May 8, 2011
<-- My beautiful Momma
This has probably been the best Mother's Day EVER! Not for me (I don't count yet) but just the fact that I got to spend it with my mother, something I hadn't been able to do in such a long time. Sending cards and gifts across the miles just isn't the same as spending quality mother/daughter time. I've been spoiling my mom for the past two weeks, so in all, I'd have to say this has probably been the best Mother's Day she has ever had... well since before my brother and I left home and we got to spend it all together. I had plans to visit my hometown this weekend but many factors played into not making the trip... besides the fact that all I wanna do is sleep the minute I sit my butt down in a vehicle. With no one helping me drive the 8-9 hour trip (depends on traffic and potty breaks) along with bills, saving up for my little bundle of joy, and of course THE FACT THAT IT'S MOTHER'S DAY, I decided not to go. Unfortunately I cant make everyone happy and this weekend my mother was my priority. I would have loved to have been there to see my family and friends but I had to make a choice. Mom and I spent the whole day together yesterday and we had such a great time. We hadn't spent alone time practically the entire time I've been here... well, she has been accompanying me on my doctor's visits but those are usually stressful for me and well, we usually just do lunch, if that.
Our day started off kind of late, I've been feeling very exhausted so I woke up Saturday morning around 9 am. We went to look at some stuff for my baby shower, had lunch at Peter Piper Pizza (guess we were both just in the mood... I swear you'd say she is the pregnant one with all the cravings lol), we relaxed with mother/daughter mani/pedi's, and then she got to do a little shopping for her self. I've been needing new sneakers for work but yet again, I managed to not spend a penny on myself... well, besides lunch and the mani/pedi. At the end of the day, mom treated me to some Coldstone ice cream YUM. We were both tuckered out, me with my swollen and aching feet and what felt like waddling to each new destination and mom limping from pain (she is still not 100% after her surgery a year and a half ago). I cant complain... the day was great and being with my mom was the best. We had plans for church this morning, which was very nice followed by breakfast at a Mexican restaurant. We pretty much came home and spent the day here. We had other plans that fell through... someone (and I wont mention any names, but I will say was not my mother or myself) was being Oscar the Grouch. I get in a bad mood easily so that set me off. I cant stand when people shit on my parade, if you wanna have a pity party don't invite me!
Anyhow, besides the grump, my weekend was awesome! I even got an early mother's day gift, A SWEDISH MASSAGE. Nope, it wasn't a full body massage but more like an abdominal massage, lol, Baby Matthew is taking after his great grandma Minnie and has already picked up some massage therapy skills in utero. I can only imagine what he will be like when he is 4 and all I have to say is rub Mamma's feet and I'll give you a dollar... but I don't want to speed up time, I want to enjoy every minute of him when he gets here.
I may not be a mommy yet, but I have celebrated this day in my own special way for the past 5 years. My little Angel is always in my heart and there is never a day that I forget. I often wonder what life would be like, but God has a reason for everything and it's not for me to ask why, but rather to accept and know my Angel had a divine purpose.