For the past two months I've been moping around feeling sorry for myself because my only friend in town is my mom and I miss my friends and family back home, but truth of the matter is, life is what you make of it. Yes, I complain day after day that I am bored, but I suppose that is what I choose. I have family in town, but I CHOOSE not to spend time with them. If I'm bored and I need a breather, I can drive around and familiarize myself with the area, but I CHOOSE not too because my truck is a gas guzzler and with my savings at a dangerous low and gas prices as they are I CHOOSE not to be wasteful. My friends are only a phone call away and yet, I CHOOSE not to call (mostly because it's hard and I miss them like crazy and these pregnancy hormones do not help). It isn't as bad as I make it for myself, well, it doesn't have to be... that, or I'm really getting used to it here. I've come to realize that perhaps I wasn't ready for this place just yet, it's very slow paced and I feel completely out of my element, but that is the beauty of this place at the same time. I loved this place when I lived back home, I came here to see my mom and to escape the hustle and bustle of my life, and now I have it all the time. Why am I complaining? I guess I just had a lot of soul searching to do... I cant say I wont complain of boredom, but there is so much more to be grateful for.
On another note, Spring break came and went. It was no different than any other day. I guess my days of partying just might be over lol. I guess that is not such a big sacrifice since I've had about 11 years post high school to get all that out of my system. We went into town a couple times, I finally had some sushi (cooked rolls of course) and I had my Starbucks fix (it wasn't as great as I expected). We went to Austin to visit my step brothers and their families... nope, no partying down 6th St. I was the first one to call it a night. I also bought my first pair of maternity pants and needless to say, I wasn't in such a cheerful mood.
I had follow up with the doctor and the baby is doing fine. Unfortunately, because I have to see a specialist, I will have to wait another month to see him and God willing, we will learn the baby's sex. I started recognizing the baby's kicks about two and half weeks ago. I felt him or her before, but I always second guessed myself thinking it was gas or something. But I know for sure now. Apparently this baby is going to be like me, a night owl. I tend to feel more of the movements at night which tells me it's awake. According to my baby calendar, babies start to form a sleeping pattern by now. Uh oh, this means I'm gonna have some loooong nights. Hopefully that changes soon. One thing that is really starting to annoy the crap out of me is night time. It takes me a good twenty to thirty minutes to get comfortable and when I finally do, I have to pee. Then it starts all over again, I toss and turn until I get comfy, then I have to pee. I find myself asking this baby, Really??? Are you freakin' kidding me? And yes... then it kicks me in the bladder, on purpose. My mom asked me if it is finally starting to feel real... It really hasn't hit me yet. I hear the heart beat and I now feel the movements, and I'm starting to feel excited, but it really isn't real to me yet. Mom goes crazy when we go into stores and she sees all the baby stuff... I still feel like I'm shopping for a baby shower gift.
Speaking of baby showers... I'm starting to get ideas for mine but it's all so complicated and I am so indecisive... perhaps it will get easier when we know the gender. I have this question... or dilemma regarding baby shower centerpieces. I've asked several friends but I get different answers. What I really wanna know is, how do you keep guests from taking centerpieces that can be used by the mom to be? I've seem some cute diaper cakes that would make nice centerpieces, obviously the diapers can be reused and so can the items on them. Maybe it's just a RGV thing, but people take all that stuff... I have no idea why? I don't like to take them, I mean a lot of them are cute but it's clutter and chances are they just collect dust in the corner. I thought that's why we gave party favors. We had a nursing reception for school and people even took the live flowers... REALLY??? I was mortified, even the teachers. So do you just let them take the usable centerpieces, or do you politely tell them no? Do you put notes on the table that say, "please do not take centerpieces"? Maybe I'll just get cheap centerpieces that are cute and if they must have one, they can take it. Seriously though, people fight for them. They rush to tables with centerpieces and claim them. LOL. I went to this one shower that had rental centerpieces, and people actually tried to sneak out with them. OMG!
I was starting to worry about having this baby and my financial status... it's pretty hard with out a job. Fortunately, I haven't made any purchases for this baby yet. The job market is just as bad as the one in the RGV. It literally took me three months to find a job back home after graduation. New nurses graduate for many schools Valley wide and there aren't enough positions. During my preceptorship at the hospital, nurses were cancelled every day, every shift because the census was low and because of over staffing. It didn't help there were many nurses on work visas. It's hard for many of the nurses not to get upset about that, but being that they have work visas, they have every right to work. When I arrived here, I thought the market would be better. I placed many online job applications but truth of the matter is, because the community is so small, they prefer it all be done in person. I guess they aren't as "high tech" yet. I decided to take matters into my own hands, so I fueled up and drove around looking for work. I went to the hospitals with no luck. One of them about half an hour away, all they said was they had absolutely no positions open. WOW. I had been calling a local/statewide home health for some time, and I even went in person to leave my resume but the director was in another office about 45 minutes away. She finally called me back, and I got my interview... AND I GOT A JOB! Finally, one less thing I have to stress about. I also had an interview with the local nursing home, but I'm not to sure how I feel about working there. The liability is high in regards to patient/nurse ratio and it's every other weekend. I can work weekends with the home health if I choose. I don't think I'll take that job even though the pay is good. I'M JUST THANKFUL I FINALLY FOUND A JOB!