Things are Looking up

For the past two months I've been moping around feeling sorry for myself because my only friend in town is my mom and I miss my friends and family back home, but truth of the matter is, life is what you make of it. Yes, I complain day after day that I am bored, but I suppose that is what I choose. I have family in town, but I CHOOSE not to spend time with them. If I'm bored and I need a breather, I can drive around and familiarize myself with the area, but I CHOOSE not too because my truck is a gas guzzler and with my savings at a dangerous low and gas prices as they are I CHOOSE not to be wasteful. My friends are only a phone call away and yet, I CHOOSE not to call (mostly because it's hard and I miss them like crazy and these pregnancy hormones do not help). It isn't as bad as I make it for myself, well, it doesn't have to be... that, or I'm really getting used to it here. I've come to realize that perhaps I wasn't ready for this place just yet, it's very slow paced and I feel completely out of my element, but that is the beauty of this place at the same time. I loved this place when I lived back home, I came here to see my mom and to escape the hustle and bustle of my life, and now I have it all the time. Why am I complaining? I guess I just had a lot of soul searching to do... I cant say I wont complain of boredom, but there is so much more to be grateful for.
On another note, Spring break came and went. It was no different than any other day. I guess my days of partying just might be over lol. I guess that is not such a big sacrifice since I've had about 11 years post high school to get all that out of my system. We went into town a couple times, I finally had some sushi (cooked rolls of course) and I had my Starbucks fix (it wasn't as great as I expected). We went to Austin to visit my step brothers and their families... nope, no partying down 6th St. I was the first one to call it a night. I also bought my first pair of maternity pants and needless to say, I wasn't in such a cheerful mood.
I had follow up with the doctor and the baby is doing fine. Unfortunately, because I have to see a specialist, I will have to wait another month to see him and God willing, we will learn the baby's sex. I started recognizing the baby's kicks about two and half weeks ago. I felt him or her before, but I always second guessed myself thinking it was gas or something. But I know for sure now. Apparently this baby is going to be like me, a night owl. I tend to feel more of the movements at night which tells me it's awake. According to my baby calendar, babies start to form a sleeping pattern by now. Uh oh, this means I'm gonna have some loooong nights. Hopefully that changes soon. One thing that is really starting to annoy the crap out of me is night time. It takes me a good twenty to thirty minutes to get comfortable and when I finally do, I have to pee. Then it starts all over again, I toss and turn until I get comfy, then I have to pee. I find myself asking this baby, Really??? Are you freakin' kidding me? And yes... then it kicks me in the bladder, on purpose. My mom asked me if it is finally starting to feel real... It really hasn't hit me yet. I hear the heart beat and I now feel the movements, and I'm starting to feel excited, but it really isn't real to me yet. Mom goes crazy when we go into stores and she sees all the baby stuff... I still feel like I'm shopping for a baby shower gift.
Speaking of baby showers... I'm starting to get ideas for mine but it's all so complicated and I am so indecisive... perhaps it will get easier when we know the gender. I have this question... or dilemma regarding baby shower centerpieces. I've asked several friends but I get different answers. What I really wanna know is, how do you keep guests from taking centerpieces that can be used by the mom to be? I've seem some cute diaper cakes that would make nice centerpieces, obviously the diapers can be reused and so can the items on them. Maybe it's just a RGV thing, but people take all that stuff... I have no idea why? I don't like to take them, I mean a lot of them are cute but it's clutter and chances are they just collect dust in the corner. I thought that's why we gave party favors. We had a nursing reception for school and people even took the live flowers... REALLY??? I was mortified, even the teachers. So do you just let them take the usable centerpieces, or do you politely tell them no? Do you put notes on the table that say, "please do not take centerpieces"? Maybe I'll just get cheap centerpieces that are cute and if they must have one, they can take it. Seriously though, people fight for them. They rush to tables with centerpieces and claim them. LOL. I went to this one shower that had rental centerpieces, and people actually tried to sneak out with them. OMG!
I was starting to worry about having this baby and my financial status... it's pretty hard with out a job. Fortunately, I haven't made any purchases for this baby yet. The job market is just as bad as the one in the RGV. It literally took me three months to find a job back home after graduation. New nurses graduate for many schools Valley wide and there aren't enough positions. During my preceptorship at the hospital, nurses were cancelled every day, every shift because the census was low and because of over staffing. It didn't help there were many nurses on work visas. It's hard for many of the nurses not to get upset about that, but being that they have work visas, they have every right to work. When I arrived here, I thought the market would be better. I placed many online job applications but truth of the matter is, because the community is so small, they prefer it all be done in person. I guess they aren't as "high tech" yet. I decided to take matters into my own hands, so I fueled up and drove around looking for work. I went to the hospitals with no luck. One of them about half an hour away, all they said was they had absolutely no positions open. WOW. I had been calling a local/statewide home health for some time, and I even went in person to leave my resume but the director was in another office about 45 minutes away. She finally called me back, and I got my interview... AND I GOT A JOB! Finally, one less thing I have to stress about. I also had an interview with the local nursing home, but I'm not to sure how I feel about working there. The liability is high in regards to patient/nurse ratio and it's every other weekend. I can work weekends with the home health if I choose. I don't think I'll take that job even though the pay is good. I'M JUST THANKFUL I FINALLY FOUND A JOB!

Oh How Beautiful!

Being that I am finally in my second trimester and the worries are slowly discipating, I finally decided to pick up a camera and snap a shot of my 16 week belly (and I wonder why that cow insulted me by asking if I was having triplets? Sorry, I just cant let it go... wait till I catch that Bia on the street) So I wasn't a svelte super model pre-preggo, even though I thought I was hotter than hell. I like to think I had the opposite or the better version of body dysmorphic disorder. LOL. My body wasn't perfect and I rarely had self esteem issues... those only came when I would actually start to work on my fitness and obsess over losing weight, AND THAT DEFINITELY WAS NOT FUN. I'd rather be fat and happy than skinny, obsessed and have more self esteem issues than when I wasn't trying. Anyways... I've totally veered off topic. So yes, my baby bump is larger than most 16 week-ers and I probably look like I've got multiples in there (but it's actually just a few too many tamales and doughnuts). Either way, I'm starting to feel comfortable in my skin again. I still hide behind the sweaters a little, but I'm working on it. I thought I'd take the picture since I wanted to record my pregnancy as best as possible... speaking of record, I mentioned how I started that baby journal to help me cope with certain issues/worries. I slacked off when I moved to the ranch, I guess talking about the pregnancy was just as therapeutic. After about 5 weeks of no entries, I decided to pick up the slack and catch up... and back to the picture. I didn't get all dolled up, I just wanted to capture the moment. Since I haven't seen my brother in over a month I decided to send him my baby bump picture, I had also sent him a picture of a super, duper loaded rib we had for dinner and since I knew my brother was at work,I figured I'd make him jealous since he is such a carnivorous cave man and those ribs are one of his favorites. (And again, I wonder why my belly is huge lol... I only had one for the record... and I didn't even finish it). So I sent him the pictures... around midnight I get a text message back, "Oh how Beautiful!!!) For just a moment there I thought he was talking about my baby bump... then I realized I sent him the picture of the rib. I asked him to clarify which picture he was talking about... he has yet to respond. Knowing my brother, I know for certain he was talking about the rib :-/ LOL, I guess that's what I get for teasing him. (it doesn't look that big in the photo, but trust me... IT WAS BIG!... and I mean the rib lol)

Baby Bumps and Badonkydonks

After three long weeks of waiting to see my new doctor the time has finally come... well almost. I have my appointment on Thursday and I couldn't be more excited! Too bad I couldn't get seen sooner for that horrendous poison oak (I can only assume) rash I had all over my abdomen for two and a half weeks... THAT WAS HORRIBLE! All the nurses could recommend was Benadryl and hydrocortizone cream. After two days of practically feeling knocked out by the Benadryl, I pretty much stopped since the rash wasn't going away and I pretty much figured out it wasn't an allergic reaction. I treated myself with every possible cream in the first aid section but what worked the best was Caladryl and Sarna lotion. But fortunately the rash has cleared and all I have left is a patch of dry skin where the rash was, no biggie compared to the intense itching. Time is flying by so fast and although I still worry, I am not as apprehensive as I was before. I'm now in my second trimester and hoping the baby's sex can be determined. I keep getting asked if I want a boy or a girl... truth of the matter is, I just want a healthy baby. It still feels surreal, like an out of body experience... I know it's happening but it doesn't feel like it's happening to me. Guess I'm still in denial but ready or not, here this baby comes.


There are so many old wives's tales that determine the sex of the baby... I tried the Chinese gender calendar, two actually... one where you input some information and another that's an actual calendar... one said boy one said girl... Uh OK. My BFFs friend did some numerology thing and she said I was having a boy. My grandma said I'm probably having a girl since my cousin's little boy practically has a love/hate relationship with me. He's only two and wants me around but when I'm there, he kicks and hits me. My mom says it's a girl also since apparently I have a big ass now and have gained so much weight :-/ I don't over eat and stick to my diet 98% of the time... I give in to my mom's yummy cornbread... What? Don't judge! lol. Either way I'll be happy with whatever God gives me. So as much as I try to hide behind loose clothes and my rapid weight gain, I must admit I have a baby bump... although you really cant tell cause I'm extra fluffy these days. I'm sure the Dr. is gonna have me on some serious fridge lock down and exercise but that's OK since Doc knows what's best for my sweet pea. And did I mention... this ignorant Mexican lady totally pissed me off. She said I got super duper fat and asked if I was having triplets. WTF! I know she wasn't serious about me having three but she just wanted to put me down. My Spanish isn't so well that I can defend myself but if you could only imagine the English words that ran through my mind.

Aside from all that I feel good, I don't even feel pregnant yet... OK so I have to pee all the time, especially at night which is REALLY annoying, I get out of breath easily which only means I need to start exercising more, and I've gained weight in places I never thought I would... like my ass. So having a bigger butt has it's perks but not when you're still trying to fit in the last two pair of jeans you have left. I've out grown all my pants except for two pair of jeans that fit me big before I found out I was pregnant and my sweats which is very depressing. I think when we go to town for my doctor's appointment on Thursday (which is an hour away) I'm gonna hit up some stores and buy some maternity clothes. I swore up and down that I would never wear them... Oh well, I want some jeans and at this point I don't really care. Just taking this one day at a time. I sometimes think I can feel the baby move, which makes this feel more real... but then I think... maybe it's just gas... And while that is a little TMI, it's totally natural even when you're not pregnant... Besides, I'm also now the Queen of Belching. Yup... it's pretty gross and I really don't care... unless I'm in public. Oh yeah... So I was saying I had no symptoms and here I am listing them all lol, I guess I meant the major ones. Sleep has become my best friend these days... That's all I wanna do. I wake up at 8 or 9 to have a bowl of Cheerios for breakfast and I'm still sleepy so all I wanna do is crawl back into bed. Lunch time comes around and I get sleepy... at 4 I'm ready for another nap. Most days, I avoid the naps but I seriously need them... Just call me Sleeping Beauty. ;)