Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Home on the Range... And nobody loves me

Life on the ranch is quite different from life in the city... I remember when I used to think the Valley was hardly "the City". I yearned for bigger and better places but I got the country instead. I traded nights out with my friends, coming home at 6 am, 5 minute drive to anywhere... the gym, the mall, my favorite restaurants, city lights, sirens, and trains for birds chirping, cows mooing, pine, dew, and you name it allergies, starry night skies, and coyotes howling. I still think I made the best choice in moving here even though I miss my dear family and friends, I never thought I'd actually do it, but I did; no regrets.
Some days I'm home sick and since there is no point in crying or tapping my heels three times, being with my mom makes the adjusting much more easier. I'm not alone, and that's the best part. Since I'm still out of work, my days are spent watching TV, applying for work online, and of course, how could I forget countless hours catching up on Facebook. CNN actually calls this social depression. Well, being I have no social life out here, that may be true to a minuscule degree (Dear friends, let's not get excited over thinking I'm depressed and home sick that I'm on the next bus home... It ain't happening lol). I'm adjusting, as does everyone who wasn't raised here.
So this is my routine, here on the range lol.
I wake up close to 9 am... mostly cause I'm up all night chatting with friends and texting. I eat breakfast, and now that pregnancy has caused me to switch to hibernation mode, I eat... then I wanna sleep. So I fight the sleepiness for a while then take my nap. I wake up just in time for lunch. In between feedings and naps, I watch some TV, or listen to Sirius and XM radio. The dog and I dance around for awhile till we get sufficient exercise. It's quite amusing; who wouldn't enjoy dancing and singing in your living room? The best part is... since we live in the middle of nowhere and are surrounded by trees, I can dance naked if I want... Hell, I can even take it outside and no one will see me... that I know of lol.

So I get the whole day to myself. Mom has these two birds that talk... well they say a couple phrases. If I'm washing the dishes, the birds say... Take a bath, take a bath. So I splash them with some water. If they see us eat, they say "I want a bite". If they're scared they say, it's OK, it's OK. The girl bird says, It's OK, Kiwi (that's the boy's name) or if she is mad at him she'll say, "stop it, Kiwi, Stop it" I tend to fight with the birds cause they're the only other thing, besides myself, that I can talk to... well, I can talk to the dogs but they don't talk back. lol. The other parrot only says one word..."Cotorra", which means parrot in Spanish, but her name is Patty. She does the "hot-stuff" whistle... the woot wooooot lol. IDK how that translates into English. But when my mom and step-dad get home... all hell breaks loose.
The animals can hear my mom and step-dad's car from a mile away... LITERALLY. I know they're near before I even see them. The inside dog starts barking hysterically, the outside dog runs to greet him at the main entrance. The cows start mooing and start making their way to the house... the birds start screaming. Basically, it's a head ache. When my mom gets here the same thing... the dogs do their thing, the cows moo, but the parrots get even crazier... Patty does her woot woot thing, the two Quaker parrots start screaming and saying... "Oh look at the baby, look at the baby" I guess that's what mom says to them, so they say it back. It's literally like a hour of chaos. Mom stops to play the parrots, the cat, Boo Boo starts crying like a baby... the dogs are barking and jumping. It sounds like a freakin' zoo. She comes in to greet my step dad, she gives him a kiss, the dog gets jealous and starts crying and howling, she wont stop until she gets attention. And then there's me... NO BODY LOVES ME ;( lol (I got that from my sister in law... That's all she says..."no body loves me, why does every body hate me lol... what a nut) I have to come out of my room for attention 'CAUSE NO BODY LOVES ME lol. Oh well.
There are just some of the pets

The weekends are different... we just sleep all day. According to my mom, my pregnancy has affected everybody, even the dog. we eat then sleep... we do that for breakfast, lunch, and dinner lol... seriously. I joke that ranch should be called "Golden Acres" cause we live like old people... eat, sleep, shit, and complain of aches and pains. But I think they secretly napped all day before I even got here and now they have an excuse.

So that's life here on Golden Acres, I mean Green Acres. Seems like the only times we go to town is to get groceries or to hit up the pharmacy. We'd go to the "big city" only when we have appointments, it used to be that we'd go every weekend. Sounds kinda boring but like I said, it takes some time to get used to. I'm ready to start working so I can start to socialize... It's tough being home all day and just hanging out with the parentals but I'll get through it... One day at a time.

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