The Joys of Aging... And Mom's gonna kill me

So my mom and I were having a snack at the table the other evening (BTW She is gonna be sooooo mad I'm writing about this ;) tehehe AND NO THIS ISNT ABOUT HER AGING) and she decides to review her mail. She received this catalog that she had never received before called Dr. Leonard's... She was all excited cause it sort of looks like a fingerhut or ABC catalog, sort of. Anyhow I asked... "Mom, Why are you receiving that catalog? That's for old people and the old lady that my Grandma Melda used to work for would give her her left over catalogs... so she would just take them home and throw them away." They have some purposeful items that caught my attention like an orthopedic dog bed and coat. Anyways... So my mom is flipping through the pages content with what she sees. She says, "WOW! reading glasses so cheap... And WOW!!! that's a really nice bed spread... And OH!!!! Gibby (my step dad) could really uses those (Prolly some slippers or robe or something)". So she's all excited and I'm thinking to myself... OMG! I cant believe my mom is looking at a catalog for old people. So she flips the page and screams... AHHH! stares at it for half a second and flips the page. She is completely red and I'm like, "What was that?" so she turns the page back to show me. lol I start laughing hysterically. All I could say in my most serious voice was, "Well, old people need action too!... and sometimes when men get old, they don't function properly". She looks at my with this face and says "Shut up" lol. So she proceeds to flip through the catalog... Again, she turns completely red and starts laughing... flips the page again and another page of personal massagers and products. She slams the catalog shut in disbelief. It was too funny.

Personally, I don't think there is anything wrong with old people getting it on... I mean, they need some lovin' too and I hope at that age I haven't lost my sex drive lol. So Lesson Learned...

(Actual Image from Dr. Leonard's Catalog)

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On another note...

Mom had a discectomy and fusion last January and is slowly but surely recovering. Unfortunately she still endures a lot of spinal and nerve pain. The weather change (rain and chilly) flared up her pain. I'm in my room filling out some online job applications when she comes to my mom. "Bibis... Can you rub some muscle cream on my back?" I get the tube and squeeze a generous amount of cream on to my palm, rub my hands together to warm it up, and proceed to giving her a mini massage. The only thing I think of to my self is... "Wow, this stuff doesn't smell like muscle cream... I guess it's unscented". So I'm done with her massage and she is watching TV on my bed and is rubbing her legs with cream. I'm still at my desk filling out applications and rubbed my face with left over residue of cream after I had washed my hands. She yells... "What! this isn't muscle cream. So I turn around and much to my surprise it is definitely not muscle cream. I suppose as a nurse before we administer any medication or topical lotions/ointments we double check what we are administering... I just assumed my mom got the right cream. I guess she had picked up some anti fungal cream that my step dad had in a drawer and not the muscle cream. Gibby yells from the living room... "I have the muscle cream over here". Well as they say... If you ASSUME you make and ASS out of U and ME. So mom practically had anti-fungal cream all over her body while I was rubbing it on my face lol. Lesson learned... Remember nursing rules... Right dose, Right route, Right medication, Right patient... etc, etc... AND