No Place Like Home

So I'm finally home, for good this time. I finally got into the valley around 1630 (for those who dont know military time that is 4:30, but I might as well have typed that to begin with cause I just typed all this...). Anyhow, upon entering Harlingen (or was it leaving Harlingen?) I see two ladies on the side of the road and and two city cops behind them, they are out of their vehicles, and of course I thought, "eh, great, they are holding up traffic, dumb bitches"...I pass them, but I look in the rear view mirror and what do I see? 2 cops helping these ladies fix a flat. Now I didnt realize it took two men to change 1 tire (BTW, I can change a tire, woot woot! All by myself!) but that really wasnt the point. Now there really isnt a point at all other than it is good to see these men helping out someone rather than stalking drivers in the "work zones" like prey so they can meet their quota. I did, however, enjoy watching these nice men in their uniforms (yea I'm a sucker for a man in uniform). It was only for a moment though cause I dont like to rubber neck, it just causes accidents, slows traffic even more, then I get really irate, and that is not a pretty picture. Well I didnt get to see their faces but their butts looked kinda cute if I must say. Well my hat's off to them for helping out helpless women and enduring this valley heat. Gosh I miss Corpus already, I could feel the heat near Riviera and I knew I was close to home.

So now that I'm home I'm on a mission:

1. Gotta find a job. I'm pretty sure I have a pretty good shot at this

particular one but I dont wanna count my eggs.

2. Get rid of my gas guzzling truck. I obviously need a more econimical car with these blood sucking gas prices, next thing you know, they'll be asking for first borns.

3. Take care of some stuff for school. Gotta pay tuition, books, probably more uniforms, more supplies, etc...

4. Noah needs a hair cut. He looks like a homeless pup I picked up from "little Mexico". (For those who dont know where "little Mexico" is, it's like the part of my town, that nobody really goes to, It's where the immigrants go and call "home")

5. I'm sure I'll come up with a few more.

Tomorrow is Girls Night Out! YEAH! We were supposed to go to Skean Dhu but Aiden starts t-ball so we are just gonna chill at Rikki's. I'm not sure if I blogged about my 5 liter box of wine on here or on blogger, but anyhow I'll recap... I bought a 5 liter box all for MYSELF! No, I didnt get to finish it, what kinda girl do you take me for? But now its gonna go to waste cause I dont think Sheila will finish it or drink it for that matter. BOOOO! I think were having the usual tomorrow, V W/ DC. Anyhooo, I'm fueled up at the moment cause I drank one of those Monster Grenades, well that's what I call 'em cause they have a resealable cap and if you put it in your purse and it kinda shakes a little, when you open it, it makes a really loud noise. I think Im gonna shut up now!

Chatoic Weekend

So this week will most likely be my last week in Corpus. ::sighs:: I guess my services are no longer needed. Sheila’s mom will be coming into town to take over and help pack with the move and all. I am kinda home sick. Well, no, not really but I do miss my family and my friends, and Newman’s, and Rikki, and, and… so on. So this means I gotta go home and find a job for a month, lol, at least until school starts back up in August. Corpus was great and my friends were great but it is definitely not like before. I think I had different expectations. I think I wanted to feel the feeling of “home”, like it did when I lived here, but truth of the matter is that it isn’t “home” anymore, at least at the moment. Who knows, maybe once I’m done with school I’ll come back and make it home, or maybe I’ll go somewhere else, what matters now is that I go home and finish school and make all my dreams come true.
My trip home this weekend went well. Although it went by incredibly fast, I did get to spend time with mom. I really missed her, she wanted me to go home with her but I had to explain that I had other commitments. The wedding was this weekend. What can you do? So my brother got hitched and I guess all I can say is that I wish him well. The reception was on Sunday. I drank and put on a “happy” face. Enough said about that. If you missed the drama (No, I didn’t make a fool of myself or cause the drama), I care not to repeat it. I left with a mild anxiety attack (; {) needing a cigarette or two to cut the edge (wiser alternative to Xanax). Well I guess that’s it for now.

Peace!
Cyn

Midnight Ramblings

It's almost 3 a.m., I actually tried going to bed early today since my mother will be in town today. I don't usually go to bed until 4 maybe 5 sometimes 6 a.m. Unfortunately I suffer from insomnia. My usual sleeping pattern involves jumping in bed close to four 'cause that's what time Angel (my cousin) wakes up for work and for fear of him waking up and walking out into the living room naked or in his "unnawares". So I hop in bed and turn on my ipod full blast so it is just loud enough that I can hear it with out having those earbuds in my ears (this helps with the awkward silence) and I play those stupid trivia quizzes on the ipod or I'll play wheel of fortune on my phone. I then hear the alarm goes off, at that point I try to close my eyes, sing a couple songs and then I fall asleep (I have discovered that if I sing to songs it keeps my mind from racing therefore putting me in a meditative state). The people upstairs are usually awake at this time too, so I hear their kid running around and the plumbing. Then around 6 or 7 I never really look at the time, Sheila's alarm goes off. I hear it and occasionally hear her jamming out to M.C., I fall back asleep. Now after typing all this I am not exactly sure why, I think my hands have a mind of their own. So anyhow I woke up cause it's so freakin hot. There's no worse way to wake up than in a sweat. Gross! I live with my grandparents since I left my ex and decided to go home and finish school. I slept in the guest room because my room is very hot only to wake up hot in there. Sheila lives in an igloo and I love it, I don't usually wake up sweating at her place.

Today is 4th of July, Happy Independence Day! I don't know what my plans are but I know that I will be spending a great deal of time with my mother. I miss her and have not seen her since mid March. My head hurts, I think I am dehydrated from sweating. I HATE sweating, now I have to jump in the shower to feel refreshed only to sweat again once I get out. I don't know what to type anymore, I'm just kinda venting here.

Cheap Wine and Cigarettes

Sometime last week I decided to buy one of those 5 liter boxes of wine at the local market and some cigarettes, oh yea and useless make up brushes solely for the reason that they were on sale for $0.99, but that's a whole other story. I told Sheila that by the time school started back up I was gonna be a "wino/a"; hey, it runs in my blood. It had been a while since I had a drink and I was just kinda in the mood. I decided I feel like drinking tonight. So while the kids are asleep and Angel is giving Sheila a butt massage, I will be outside on the patio drinking my wine and smoking till my lungs are black. I guess I'll make up for lost time when I was pretending to quit for three weeks.

Did I mention Sheila's kids are saints? Seriously, they are. Sometimes I wish they cave me a run for my money, I'm not complaining or anything, but aren't kids supposed make you wanna pull your hair out and curse 'em out? And drink? I cant wait till I have my own kids. Sheila says I can have hers, but they are too good, so good that sometimes I forget that they are here. I know my kids will be hell raisers, if they are anything like me. Now, I was a good kid but that's only because my mom was a single mom and I didn't want to cause the havoc that was lurking beneath my skin so I channelled it elsewhere. When I moved out on my own, the inner demon surfaced.

On another note...
My brother is getting married this weekend. What a Loser! Perhaps it's the cynic in me but Love is most certainly tragic. Well that's what I've gatherered from previous relationships. I asked him why he is getting married (did i mention everyone hates her?) and he didnt say he loved her, he said becuase he has been with her long enough. Not exactly a good reason to get married if you ask me. Anyhow, it's his life. I will put on a fake smile and a black dress and watch my brother throw his life away to an uneducated (no, she hasnt finished h.s. and doesnt want a GED) 20 year old who cant even wipe her own ass. So this wedding means I have to drive home, I guess I'll go home tomorrow night. A couple more hours till WINE:30. YAY for me!