Monday, September 29, 2008
Men...
I mentioned a while back that I was starting have real "feelings" for one of the guys I am talking to (this would the the fun and free spirited guy). I also pointed out that the weekend that he was here just(I guess it was a few weeks ago, I can barely remember) confirmed those feelings. I am not one to fall, I supress my feelings and just let things be. Well, I'm no psychic, but my guess is that things might not work out after all. Perhaps it is all in my head. I have spent many nights thinking about this whole situation. I know, I know, to some this might seem trivial and not worth the anxiety, but I really, really like him. Since he does not live here, we talk alot, or we used to. Slowly but surely we are drifting, so to speak. Perhaps it is me backing off becuase I dont know how to deal with these so-called feelings, or perhaps he just doesnt like me like he/I thought he did. That is ok if that is how he feels, I just would like to know so that I dont waste my time. I guess I should just forget about things, about him, and move on. Maybe I'll just take the cowardly way out instead of having to face my emotions.
Sunday, September 28, 2008
Change is Growth
ok, so I posted two other blogs today but they were from a couple days ago. I dont always remember to post my blogs on here, so here we go...
Have you ever wanted something so bad you can feel it in your bones? I am a true believer in working very hard for what you want, and I do. My mom always told me that anything (realistically) is possible as long as I have God, my faith, and perseverance; I agree. I started to read a book a while back called "The Secret" and never really finished it (I got bored since it was the same thing over and over again, so I watched the DVD, well part of it, and fell asleep). I got the main concept and it is pretty interesting. I do not believe that just the "laws of attraction" alone can get you what you want; It's a nice concept though. I do believe, however, that everything we bring into our life, we attract, like a magnet (if you want to get technical on me, I do not mean this in the opposites attract sort of way, you know the whole positive negative poles on a magnet idea) so to speak. For this very reason I only allow certain people in my life, well, those who play important roles anyhow. Going back to the book, I think it was a bunch of hype (hype; I just realized I've been using this word a lot lately. Random, I know. Just thought I'd throw that in here) that may lead gullible people to believe that anything is possible just because Oprah endorsed it; I attempted to read the book and watch the DVD, I didn't fall for the gimmick, so I like to think this sets me apart. I'll stick to my personal and spiritual beliefs. Now why did I feel the need to write all of this nonsense? Oh yea (I had lost my train of thought), wanting something.
There are a lot of things that I want. Some I know I can get with hard work and dedication, some I just want for selfish reasons, and some things I really want but realize that it might not be the best for me after all. That is the hard part, coming to terms with the realization that something you desire it's not good for you. But can it be, if you work really hard? I suppose it could, but change is needed. Change doesn't necessarily mean to change who you are or your beliefs, I believe that change is growth. We learn and grow from experiences, whether bad or good. From my past experiences, I have realized that I, too, have changed; some say for the better, some say for the worse.
I received an email with this quote,
"Change is the essence of life. Be willing to surrender what you are for what you could become."
Having read this, it confirmed my beliefs that change is good. Change is growth. One does not have to loose why they are in the process but may find something better underneath it all.
With change in mind, must I change myself to get what I want, or should I change what ever it is that I want?
(Sometimes I think that I think too much)
Have you ever wanted something so bad you can feel it in your bones? I am a true believer in working very hard for what you want, and I do. My mom always told me that anything (realistically) is possible as long as I have God, my faith, and perseverance; I agree. I started to read a book a while back called "The Secret" and never really finished it (I got bored since it was the same thing over and over again, so I watched the DVD, well part of it, and fell asleep). I got the main concept and it is pretty interesting. I do not believe that just the "laws of attraction" alone can get you what you want; It's a nice concept though. I do believe, however, that everything we bring into our life, we attract, like a magnet (if you want to get technical on me, I do not mean this in the opposites attract sort of way, you know the whole positive negative poles on a magnet idea) so to speak. For this very reason I only allow certain people in my life, well, those who play important roles anyhow. Going back to the book, I think it was a bunch of hype (hype; I just realized I've been using this word a lot lately. Random, I know. Just thought I'd throw that in here) that may lead gullible people to believe that anything is possible just because Oprah endorsed it; I attempted to read the book and watch the DVD, I didn't fall for the gimmick, so I like to think this sets me apart. I'll stick to my personal and spiritual beliefs. Now why did I feel the need to write all of this nonsense? Oh yea (I had lost my train of thought), wanting something.
There are a lot of things that I want. Some I know I can get with hard work and dedication, some I just want for selfish reasons, and some things I really want but realize that it might not be the best for me after all. That is the hard part, coming to terms with the realization that something you desire it's not good for you. But can it be, if you work really hard? I suppose it could, but change is needed. Change doesn't necessarily mean to change who you are or your beliefs, I believe that change is growth. We learn and grow from experiences, whether bad or good. From my past experiences, I have realized that I, too, have changed; some say for the better, some say for the worse.
I received an email with this quote,
"Change is the essence of life. Be willing to surrender what you are for what you could become."
Having read this, it confirmed my beliefs that change is good. Change is growth. One does not have to loose why they are in the process but may find something better underneath it all.
With change in mind, must I change myself to get what I want, or should I change what ever it is that I want?
(Sometimes I think that I think too much)
<3 Little Things Part II <3 09/21/2008
So this is a continuation of my previous post.
"Settling"
As if we don't already know what settling mean, for my own sake and the sake of my blog, I'm gonna go ahead and break it down. Settling, in essence, means to "make do" or "put up with"; I think it also partly means giving up your aspirations because one may feel they can no longer be attainable.
With that in mind, the following quote (the same individual also quoted the "Word's to live by" section on my page) better explains the connotation of the word, "settle" or "settling".
"There is no passion to be found playing small - in settling for a life that is less than the one you are capable of living."
Everyone who knows me recognizes the fact that I am usually one to never settle. Now don't get me wrong, I have made mistakes (haven't we all?) that may have appeared as "settling" and I don't deny that I have been blinded by illusions (those of love, of life, well, of many things for that matter) in the past. Eventually, I come to my wits and identify my mistakes and as hard as it may be to move forward, one must be resilient and make life more meaningful. With that being said, this brings me back to my last blog. This predicament isn't as dramatic as it may appear to the outside world; however, it is an internal battle of choices that I am faced with and answers that are being demanded.
Life is all about choices. Let's put into perspective these choices (there are more than two choices however, for the sake of making this short, I'll cut it down to two. Yes, this will be vague):
Option 1 provides stability, assurance, focus, positive future, dedication, consistency and so on. Stepping back and taking a broad look, I see every reason why I should pick this path. However, at this stage in my life, although I always try to see beyond the horizon, my life is focused on "now" and having as much fun as I can before I am ready for "grown up" life, so to speak.
Option 2 is the complete opposite; it's focused on today, living for the moment. What is not to love about living in the moment, after all, we only live once. As they say, "Life is short, live it up, drink it down, laugh it off, avoid the drama, take chances, and never have regrets…" This option suits my life for the time being. Should I take this path (if it were really an option), I don't know if in the future it could provide me with the benefits featured in option 1. I suppose it could, after all I believe I control my own destiny (to some extent).
Anyhow, these choices reflect my life, my future, perhaps relationships to come, and so on. I don't spend hours upon hours dwelling on this however, being that the choices we make today may affect tomorrow. This is just something I have been pondering about lately and fear that the uncertainty of the future (of course the future is uncertain, it's also the most beautiful part) may lead me to settle for something less than I deserve today, or perhaps something I feel I deserve today, may lead me to settle for an uncertain future.
That's enough rambling about uncertain this and uncertain that, perhaps I should just take it for what it is, whatever that may be. I think I just gave myself a headache.
"Settling"
As if we don't already know what settling mean, for my own sake and the sake of my blog, I'm gonna go ahead and break it down. Settling, in essence, means to "make do" or "put up with"; I think it also partly means giving up your aspirations because one may feel they can no longer be attainable.
With that in mind, the following quote (the same individual also quoted the "Word's to live by" section on my page) better explains the connotation of the word, "settle" or "settling".
"There is no passion to be found playing small - in settling for a life that is less than the one you are capable of living."
Everyone who knows me recognizes the fact that I am usually one to never settle. Now don't get me wrong, I have made mistakes (haven't we all?) that may have appeared as "settling" and I don't deny that I have been blinded by illusions (those of love, of life, well, of many things for that matter) in the past. Eventually, I come to my wits and identify my mistakes and as hard as it may be to move forward, one must be resilient and make life more meaningful. With that being said, this brings me back to my last blog. This predicament isn't as dramatic as it may appear to the outside world; however, it is an internal battle of choices that I am faced with and answers that are being demanded.
Life is all about choices. Let's put into perspective these choices (there are more than two choices however, for the sake of making this short, I'll cut it down to two. Yes, this will be vague):
Option 1 provides stability, assurance, focus, positive future, dedication, consistency and so on. Stepping back and taking a broad look, I see every reason why I should pick this path. However, at this stage in my life, although I always try to see beyond the horizon, my life is focused on "now" and having as much fun as I can before I am ready for "grown up" life, so to speak.
Option 2 is the complete opposite; it's focused on today, living for the moment. What is not to love about living in the moment, after all, we only live once. As they say, "Life is short, live it up, drink it down, laugh it off, avoid the drama, take chances, and never have regrets…" This option suits my life for the time being. Should I take this path (if it were really an option), I don't know if in the future it could provide me with the benefits featured in option 1. I suppose it could, after all I believe I control my own destiny (to some extent).
Anyhow, these choices reflect my life, my future, perhaps relationships to come, and so on. I don't spend hours upon hours dwelling on this however, being that the choices we make today may affect tomorrow. This is just something I have been pondering about lately and fear that the uncertainty of the future (of course the future is uncertain, it's also the most beautiful part) may lead me to settle for something less than I deserve today, or perhaps something I feel I deserve today, may lead me to settle for an uncertain future.
That's enough rambling about uncertain this and uncertain that, perhaps I should just take it for what it is, whatever that may be. I think I just gave myself a headache.
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