MIni getaways

UPDATE: Finally added some Pic, check 'em out below
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So Tiff (and her son William), Missy, and I went to SPI (South Padre Island) for the day. We were off by 0930. I don't recall the time we arrived cause we made a few stops to fuel up, grab some snacks, then got some Whataburger in Port Isabel. The breeze was nice, but the sand was scorching, and the water was cool. We rented an umbrella, which, if you ask me, was way over priced. I remember paying 10-15 bucks for the day, I guess with inflation it rose to 25 bucks for the day. I think were planning a trip again to the island this Saturday, so we'll be using those 25 bucks to purchase our own. Anyhow, my goal was to get a tan and not look pasty anymore (RJ says I look like an albino (minus the white hair) but it's not that dramatic). I got a little burned on my forehead and my back but it doesn't hurt, so I am OK with that. I tried not to sit under the sun too much because I tend to burn with in 20 minutes. I took a full spray can of 70 SPF sunscreen and came home with it empty, lol. I guess that's why I didn't turn as red as a lobster like I usually do. I felt a little guilty leaving grandpa at home to care for grams by himself, but always manages (since this Sunday is Father's Day, I need to come up with something great for him).

Me and my partners in crime (Missy & Tiff)

Me and Tiff (William is in the middle)

It was time to leave; We were sad. We stopped by Wingstop on the way back to Tiff's house. Mmmmm (and that's why my scrubs are fitting snug). We looked terrible, My hair was frizzy, Missy wasn't wearing a bra, and Tiff was also dressed down, she was sporting one of those 80's exercise shirts where there is no collar and it slides off your shoulder. We didn't care, we were just hungry. Went back to Tiff's for a while; we weren't ready for the day to end. So we just chilled and Missy drank the wine we didn't finish the last time we hung out. I drank my DC (diet coke, not the shoes, although I love those too!) I had left over from Wingstop
What more can I say other than that the day was so relaxing.I'll post some picks up as soon as I get a hold of them. I got home and after a while I text Missy that I felt like i just had the best sex of my life, lol, seriously! I felt so relaxed, almost euphoric (perhaps it was a combination of relaxation, dehydration, and too much sun/heat exposure). Nonetheless, it was a great feeling considering I have had a bad couple days recently. By bad I just mean an internal struggle with certain emotions in regards to life, love, and all the other bullshit, but like I said, I just get over it.
So back to planning some more mini getaways, this Saturday, SPI, next week, Corpus Christi, here we come!!!
I have a few errands to run before class starts, after yesterday, I most definitely don't feel like sitting through a 4 hour lecture. :-/
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Up date on the scrubs issue, I have gained some weight. ; (. I hopped on the scale, + 10 lbs. OH NO!!!! Fuck! I need to get on a diet and get my ass to the gym... DAMN IT!

Early Morning

Well I decided to wake up early today. I got up, had breakfast with grams and grandpa in her room (she got her own room when she got sick, grandpa snores too loud). We traded breakfast sandwhiches cause she didnt care for the McMuffin my aunt brought them for breakfast. I went to the grocery store last night and purchased some croissantwhichs; one, becuase I she likes the ones from burger king and secondly, becuase sometimes I run late and need something quick. Well she ate and that's all I can ask for; Anything to make her eat.

I got a reality check today (yeah, I know, so early in the morning), I guess I'm not doing enough around the house cause they got someone to come and clean the house, well just the restroom. I'm gonna have to step up my game. I realized I dont like anyone doing things for us when I am very capable of doing them. I think I'm getting territorial, lol. I know everyone needs a little help every now and then, but I figure, if I break up the duties around the house so I dont feel overwhelmed, I just might be able to manage taking care of them, going to class, finding time to study, and cleaning. I think so... My anxiety level rose today. Grams tends to spazz out sometimes and it makes me nervous and anxious. I dont handle stress well, my hair falls out. I hardly have any left. I need some happly pills. Too bad I dont have a passport to hit up Mexico and stock up on some Xanax, lol, or perhaps some Valium. No, it's not that bad, seriously, but I do get that stressed. Anyways this particular blog isnt to complain by any means, just kinda helps me vent and realize certain things.

Well I gotta get ready for school. Long day today and hopefully I'll get my results for my leadership and management final. My little Avon biz is going well, better than I expected. I thought by now, I surely would have quit. I bring in a little income which helps me out with gas since my truck is a gas guzzler, seriously. I also forgot to mention that my dog Noah, well he disappeared again in February, but for good this time. I had such a hard time dealing with that, he would have been 7 this August. On a happier note, I am now the proud godmother of two beautiful children, Abby and Davy. Here they are being silly on the way to church.

And here is me with my "Comadre", I dont know what she would be called in engish but she chose me to the the godmother of her children.

I am gonna hit the beach tomorrow; its my day off from school. Gonna have some fun in the sun with my two BFFs. Hopefully I dont get too sunburned.
(About to leave for school...OMG, Oh NO! my scrubs are fitting a bit tight. I think I am stress eating. UGH!)

Long time gone...

So it's been a few months since I've blogged on here, I'd say right about 5 or 6 months. A lot has happened in this short period of time, I guess I can say it's been a whirlwind. As I posted almost a year ago, my grandmother was diagnosed with lung cancer. She has been through chemo twice and has also had radiation. The tumor has shrunk but not enough. Grams is supposed to go through more chemo and PCI (prophylactic cranial irradiation) to prevent the cancer spreading to her brain but it has been postponed. She was recently diagnosed with radiation pneumonia (caused by the radiation not a virus). Through this onset she has dramatically declined in health; she has lost a significant amount of weight (she is down to 93 lbs), SOB (short of breath, not son of a bitch ; P ) and placed on continuous oxygen, practically made her self bed bound because she is so weak. As soon as her health improves and gains some weight she will be able to continue treatment. Grandpa had to get spine surgery a couple weeks ago because of the crazy accident he had with his truck back in the early part of the year (his was checking the oil in his truck while it was on a ramp, somehow it got out of park and nearly ran over him. he ended up with a fractured vertebrae).

Anyhow I've just been home trying my best to take care of them while going to school. I'm finally in my 4th (last) level of Nursing school, so hopefully by Thanksgiving I will be an RN (school has already paid off giving me the proper knowledge to care for them). I find myself tired and occasionally frustrated. Not with my grandparents but with the fact that I cant do more and at the same time, when I can, I don't. I wish I could make the pain go away; I wish they wouldn't have to suffer. But life doesn't work that way unfortunately. At times I get impatient then go through periods of guilt. The guilt comes in because I find myself trying to just get away, to find time to breathe, to find time for ME! I sometimes feel it's selfish on my part however I know I have to keep my sanity. I find myself feeling frustrated with family (Some of my immediate ones, NOT YOU SHEILA lol ,just so you know, but I love you like your my blood). My aunt and my grandfather do the bulk of caring for my grams, I step in when I'm not at school or getting a breather. I get frustrated with my own father, who can do more for his parents yet doesn't, my cousin who lives next door who can help grandpa out with some outside duties but doesn't leave his house unless he has to work (ok, ok he'll drop by like once in a blue moon), my other cousins who work, although have plenty of time to spare hardly come to visit but do bring an occasional dish to feed my grandparents (yes, I am appreciative for that). My grandparents are the pillars of my family, with out them, we would fall. They go beyond their way to help everyone, yet when time came that my grandparents need them, they are no where around unless they are asked to come (for the most part). Sometimes I feel that everyone feels this is my responsibility since I live with them, or my aunt's cause she is their only daughter, or my grandfather, cause he is her husband. All I am trying to get at is this should be total family participation. At the same time, I take pride in caring for them, I promised them when I was a child, that I would be a nurse and I would take care of them when they were sick... Funny how that happened. I suppose the events that led me here all happened for a reason.
Despite my frustrations, I wouldn't have it any other way. I love them. Well that's all for now, I hope to keep posting.

On a side note, still trying to find "the one"...I've dated more bad apples than I can count, my heart was set on one but despite my feelings for him, perhaps we are just in two different places in life. Oh well, I guess a man isn't in my cards just yet... Patience is a virtue