Sunday, August 31, 2008

Long time no blog (on Blogger)

So It's been a while since I have blogged on here. I've really only kept up my myspace blog. Sheila is usually the only one that gets me motivated to blog on here and since I left Corpus, I never really kept up with it. But now, she's back and I just might start blogging again. Well alot has happened so I think instead of just giving a nutshell version, which is what I prolly should do, Im just gonna go ahead and copy and paste most of the blogs...

here goes...

August 30, 2008 - Saturday
Drunk Cinderella Current mood: adventurous
So first off let me just say, no, I'm not the "Drunk Cinderella". We (Nora, Missy, and myself) decided to go out late this evening after some plans to go out to a sports bar and grill fell through. Aside from being pretty "bitchy" and "bossy" today, it was pretty good. The waitresses were rude and pissing me off and if it wasnt for my drink that mellowed me out a little, I probably would have ripped her a new asshole. There was a funny part of the evening, a woman (pathetically drunk) exited the ladie's room wearing no shoes. actually, one shoe was in her hand. She stops by a table next to ours and although I didnt really understand her, she was holding this cheap high heel in her hand. She was talking to the guys, I think they were gay but not that it makes any difference. At first I understood that she was so drunk she couldnt put on her shoe herself and was seeking help from one of the men to assist her. Well that wasnt the case. She was actually looking for Cinderella, I think she thought one of the gay guys was Cinderella. Anyhow, another guy was like come over here and Ill help you put on your shoe. She wanted him to try on the shoe to see if it fit, and I think he was gay too and was like "honey, that shoe wouldnt fit me, I need like a size 14 (do they make that size in women's shoes?)" so then everyone was laughing while she was trying to find Cinderella, when I guess in drunken reality, she was her. Anyways, I'm not that good at telling stories, you had to be there. That's why I dont get shit faced in public (98% of the time, hey... we all have our moments lol). Night went well. Tomorrows a new adventure.
On another note, school is going great! I love mental health. I am so ready to psycho-analyze everything and everyone. Wanna be my next victim? It's crazy (no pun intended) how everyone can be manic or psychotic or whatever when you break it down. SCAREY! Well that's everyone except me. Nah just kidding. I'm a little compusive to certain things but enough that. I have my first exam on Tuesday, so that means I gotta hit the books hardcore! Yup that's some serious cram sessions with my study group. Anyhoo, I guess It's almost 5 am so that means I should prolly go to bed, but that also means I prolly wont.
Oh yea, update on the cancer thing... so far so good... everything is stable, chemo meds lowered, but I think I already blogged about that. Ummm. Blood levels good... whatelse... Guess that's.




August 25, 2008 - Monday
Wiggin Out! Current mood: happy
So before I get to grams, let me just say I had a pretty good day at school. I thought it was gonna be about 2 hours of orientation then go home. Well it was a full day of orientation and lecture. Super boring, but once we got to the lecture part and the explanation of our clinical rotation, it got pretty interesting. I learned alot and took a shit load of notes. I was pretty irritated to find our instructor wanted us to pay 28 bucks for the syllbus. Pretty stupid if you ask me being that we are charged fees for using the library printing services. So some of the smart people (like myself) got together, pitched in and all bought a book together, someone is gonna scan it and then we get copies. I'd rather pay 5 bucks as opposed to 28, and well I'm not the one who has to scan it so I will gladly offer my 5 bucks. I got to see my old friends, it seemed like forever, lol. Ok it was only like 3 months and I spoke to most of them over the summer. I'm pretty excited to learn psychiatric-mental health nursing. Pretty cool of you ask me. Enough about school.
Upon arriving home, I see my aunt pulling out of the driveway. She rolls down the window and I asked if grams went to go get her wig. She did. Aiden was in the car. I opened the door to give him a hug and ask him how his first day of school went. He said he went to the "Rocket school" that's the one by his house. He looked so handsome and I said "wow, baby! you look cool, I bet you were the coolest one there, huh? He replied, "yup, I sure do look sharp, dont I?" I said you sure do hun! I need a boyfriend that looks as good as you do." He said no one looks as good as he does. I guess vanity does run in our family, I try to be modest though, lol. I hurry inside because I am anxious to see how chemo went today and to see the new wig. Grams was pretty excited. She got a few bandanas donated by some of the "winter texans", she got some literature on nutrition (she's stoked about that), and she was happy to hear that the American Cancer Society has this seminar to make women fighting cancer boost their self esteem. She really wants to go. She went on to explain to this seminar helps with tips on styling your wig, applying make up and so on. She is pretty interested in finding a support group that she can attend so that she can find people to relate to and "comadriar" (if there is such a word in spanish) with other ladies going through a similar experience. Anyhow she's pretty excited. I tried to take a pic of her in her new wig, she really didnt want to so I took one of myself sporting it. I must admit I look pretty cute! I'm gonna be a hot grandma! just kidding. Unfortunately I have the task of having to shave off grams' head so she can wear her new wig, at least that's what the lady recommended before grams wears it. I guess Ill be doing that in a bit. I need to call Sheila to borrow Angel's clippers and I need to look up some support groups that grams can join, I think I might try going with her to a few. Oh yea! I forgot to mention that grams was told that her WBCs increased significantly and that her chemo will be lowered. That is always a great sign!
Here's what I might look like in about 40 years


August 24, 2008 - Sunday
Bald can be SEXY
Yesterday (if I remember correctly, and I also dont remember if I already blogged about this, I have been scatter brained lately and dont remember much of anything) I took grams all morning trying to find a place that sells scarves to cover her head. We went everywhere including the dollar stores. All we could find was bandanas, so my grams looks gangsta! lol, just kidding. She didnt find what she wanted so she bought two one in purple and one in blue. I called the American Cancer Society and they have this free service where you can walk in and pick some stuff out, whether it be a turban (I think that's how you spell it), wig, bandana, hats, or scarves. They dont open till Monday. I kept urging her to just wait instead of spending money on bandanas. She insisted and since my body felt tired I didnt argue. Well we got home and she sewed up her crafty bandana creation and asked if she could have one of my headbands. I said sure, but since they are very thin, it broke. She got another one, it broke. I have some wider ones but she said they wouldnt work. She wore her bandana and rocked it! I called her a PO Boy/Girl (it's one of the local gangs, their colors are blue and whatever, she was wearing the blue one) jokingly, of course she laughed. She asked me today if I could go run some errands for her, get her a few things, stop by the church (actually I was supposed to take her but since it's sunday and mass is held today, she decided not to go to avoid the people and their cooties, she's pretty susceptable to everything right now) to pray and take home some holy water. I went to visit my Nana (great grams, 99) at the hospital, she is recoverying from pneumonia and other infections/illnesses. She looks bad but still has a sense of humor. I could barely understand her and just sorta nodded and giggled when she did. I fed her her food, it looked crappy but she sure did enjoy her berry cobbler. We held hands and I caressed her soft, paper thin skin. After a while there I was off to run the errands grams asked me to do. I stopped by St. Judes church (had my personal time with God) got the holy water, then ran off to get some groceries and some better headbands for gram's bandanas. I got home and she showed me how the new headbands work better. It's a good thing that she decided to get the headbands instead of waiting untill tomorrow becuase within 24 hours she lost about 50 percent of her hair. She showed me and it scared me a little, I could only imagine the emotions she's going through. Just last week she had hair, tomorrow she might not have any left. She lifted her bandana and chunks literally came off and fell to the floor. I guess reality is sinking in. She's a fighter so I have all the hope in the world that she'll get through this. She goes for some chemo tomorrow and a few more times this week, I think she's gonna go with my aunt to get her wig or whatever she wants at the American Cancer Society. When she mentioned she might be bald tomorrow I said. "hey, bald can be sexy!" and giggled. She gave me her "Ay, Cynthia" look and shook her head. I guess if I can make someone laugh with random stuff then I'm doing something to make them feel better, even for just a little bit. I think that's what I do best. Anyhow, I'm pretty beat. I'll keep yall posted.


August 21, 2008 - Thursday
Week 3 Current mood: happy
I took grams to the doctor this morning. She woke me up pretty early, well actually , I was already awake but she was ready to leave the house, she always wants to be on time (like an hour early). I got ready about an two and half hours before the actual appointment, we got there early, and we waited awhile. It was pretty quick, just a shot to help increase her WBCs (white blook cells). She starts treatment again on monday, I have orientation (I think) so I probably wont be going with her. She's doing great. She has a little cough, I'm not sure if that's the cancer or allergies. Well her hair is starting to fall out already. I was joking with her and I told her that she is starting to loose as much hair as I do (doctor says it's stress, I didnt think I had stress), she just kinda giggled. While we were waiting in the lobby a lot of women had scarves or bandanas covering their head. She was describing what she wanted. I told grams that if I ever got cancer (God forbid) I would sport the bald look. I told her I would tattoo my head instead. She just shook her head and said I was crazy. I jokingly said I would take her to get her first tattoo, she laughed, threw her hands up, shook her head again and said "Ay Cynthia" and then she was called in. She is such a strong woman, actually I have a family full of strong women (it makes me proud!), I guess that's where I get it from, lol, jk. Well, I guess that's it for now, we'll see how next week goes, she probably wont be eating much for the next week and half.

August 20, 2008 - Wednesday
Runnin on empty Current mood: restless
Well I just got back from school a while ago and tired as hell! I've slept about two hours in the past 30, my mind is tired but my body isnt, or is it vice versa? At this point I dont really know, all I do know is I need to lay down but I probably wont fall asleep. I left about 0730 this morning to go run some errands, went to the school, got my books, etc. A diazepam is sounding pretty nice right now, maybe tonight, or maybe some wine (tonight, that is). I need to get back into a normal sleeping routine now that school starts on monday. I was talking to a friend and I heard that the first half of the semester is a walk in the park compared to level I, which means I may actually get some sleep, but who knows. I am ready for this summer to be over, I got pretty lazy; procrastinated on finding a job (still procrastinating), put of tuition to the last minute (by some miracle I received some financial aid), I didnt refresh my skills for school, and so on, you know how it is!
Im starting to get "home sick", well I'm not sure if that's what you call it since Teague technically isnt my home. What I mean is I miss my mom and I miss my brother. I havent really spent time with him for a couple months due to certain circumstances but tough love hurts. I talk to my mom everyday but it's not the same. I saw her last month for my brother's wedding but the weekend was so chaotic that we didnt get to spend "QT" together or atleast not enough. Maybe Ill spend thanksgiving up there.
Back to school... I'm pretty excited starting back up. the first half of the semester is mental health followed by Med/Surg. I think Im gonna miss The Heart Hospital, perhaps cardiac will be my specialty, well see.
Well I guess I'm just rambling for the sake of wasting time, I'm gonna stop now. I need a MONSTER XXL so I can function! Im off to the store...

August 14, 2008 - Thursday
Chemo- Week 2 Current mood: excited
Well the week started off on a bad note. Grams' appetite was seriously declining. All of us were on edge and everyone was taking her out to eat so she wouldnt loose anymore weight. Nothing was appetizing to her and everyone would try and encourage her to eat but nothing seemed to work. She kept up with her boost and ensure shakes adding some whole milk to up the calories, she was eating sorbet, seemed to be about the only thing she could eat. My BFF kept my spirits up this week and it helped that she also tried to encourage my grams to eat, afterall she she knows what its like to have a loved one fighting cancer. Her dad passed away a few years ago from it and although I dont know what it's like, I did see how fast it can defeat someone. I encourage her to eat atleast every two hours and she kinda fights it but nonetheless she tries. She has been off treatment this week but has had alot of blood work to make sure her levels are good. Yesterday was great but today was even better. She has been eating nonstop, granted it is small portions but after hardly eating for a week I'm pretty sure that stomache as shrunk a little. She wants to eat everything in the weirdest combinations. I joked with her earlier telling her she's eating like a pregnant woman. She just had spaghetti in a tortilla with cucumbers in vinegar. I dont know about that one but at this point who cares, she's eating. Now we are off to pizza hut, who knows what shell be in the mood for there, maybe pudding on her pizza with a cup of coffee. lol. Just kidding. Oh yea, she really likes those V8 smoothies. YUM! Ill keep yall posted, thanks for the prayers and keep em coming!
Love ya,

August 7, 2008 - Thursday
Tired Current mood: tired
Well it's Thursday night! I wish I was out right about now. I feel pretty tired yet I cant sleep. Eh, What's new? I actually watched some television, well I put on a movie anyhow. It was pretty good. I dont remember the last time I actually turned my t.v. on, I had to dust it off. So I watched Attonement. Very good I must say. I had some popcorn and a pickle, YUM! Almost like watching a movie at the theater, well no, not really. They called me from this job I had an interview at, I turned it down. Well I guess I'm gonna lay down and see how long it takes me to fall asleep.
Chemo- End of Week 1 Current mood: hopeful
So treatment is going well, I believe grams has another treatment tomorrow, then she gets to rest for two weeks. Her strength is up, she has some how managed to loose another pound and a half. Her appetite is not so good. I went to the grocery store to get her some more of those ensure shakes with extra calories so she can try and maintain her weight. Nothing seems appetizing to her and I guess she's just eating just to eat, but barely. Other than that, everything is going well. We went to the church today to set up a mass for her. Her faith as well as ours will get her through this.


August 5, 2008 - Tuesday
Week 1, day 2
So far so good, she's doing well... no signs of weakness. Keeping up her appetite, remaining active. I didnt go with her today, my aunt did. All is well!


August 4, 2008 - Monday
Chemo-Week 1-day 1
Well Grams had her first chemo session today, It went surprisingly well. We got to the doctor's around 0900, they started blood work, started her on her meds and she didnt get out till past 1600. I had less than an hour of sleep but managed to get my ass up and ready to accompany her along with my grandfather for some moral support. I listened to my ipod and remeber desperatly wanting some sleep, I was enticed to go lay down in the truck despite the heat. You know when you start to fall asleep and then you get that huge twitch and it wakes you up? Well, my grams was laughing at me cause I couldnt stay awake, and I was doing the whole "neck rool", it reminded me of my dad (thank God those days are over). She finally went in and they said it was gonna be about three hours which turned into 7. We went home while we waited and I got a call for for an interview and some testing, I was hoping I would get a wink of sleep but didnt for fear of not waking up in time. That lasted a good 4 hours, I feel it could have gone better, but due to my lack of sleep, I really couldnt function as well. I got home and grams was just getting out. She said she felt ok, no complaints. They stopped by KFC cause she had a craving, I guess one of the patients took in a bucket of chicken, lol. I'm not sure I'm going with her to her appointment tomorrow, my aunt is going and they are gonna let her go in with her. Overall today went as great as can be expected. I just woke up from a nap, I needed my beauty rest, jk. Tomorrow is another day.


July 31, 2008 - Thursday
I think I left the fun in CC Current mood: bored
I just realized that I've been a super-momma LAMO since I got back from CC and IM NOT LIKING IT! I havent done anything worth getting excited about, I havent gotten into any trouble, and what else can I say other than I am so freakin bored. It's not that I dont work, cause well, I havent worked in a really long time. I suppose I could meet some interesting people if I got a job, but I could also meet some interesting people if I went out more. I think Ive been in "homebody mode" since I got back. I shoulda made it out to Farrah's one last time before coming home, gotten a "fix" so to speak, maybe well take a trip up, well see. I go out but just to "chill". Schools gonna start back up, and I need to splurge before I become chained to the books. SAVE ME!!!!


July 29, 2008 - Tuesday
Super Boring Tuesday!
I had a rough night, not gonna go into details or anything but I didnt sleep much. Not that that's any news (we all know know I suffer from insomnia). All week I was supposed to be watching my cousins baby. He's the cutest 4 month old in the world. Anyhow, so he was supposed to be dropped off anywhere between 0630 to 0700 throughout the week. I had plans Monday, wasnt gonna stay home. I got a call asking me for a huge favor. I go home so I dont have to wake up extra early to make it home by 0630, baby doesnt show up. Last night the same. Wasnt gonna stay home, I had been running around McAllen picking up Aiden from school then taking him to baseball practice. So I was gonna stay in McAllen, but because of the babysitting thing I made a commitment so I went home. I wake up at 6am take Troy out, I get a call, no baby. It's kinda frustrating being that I rearrange my schedule and I cancel my plans so I can watch this baby, and people dont follow through with plans. I hate that. I'm not gonna worry about.
Today was a long, but boring day. I had to deal with school stuff. Took care of that, I went from Weslaco to McAllen back to Alamo. That took most of the day. I grabbed a $1 drink from McDonald's cause it was so hot! Why McDonald's you ask? Well that's cause it tastes like it has Vodka in it. Well the diet coke does anyways. I made that observation during the semester when Claudia and I would stop and get breakfast. I always thought it was cause I had just brushed my teeth, but nope, it just tastes like it has vodka. My aunt said it tastes like whisky but I'm gonna stick to my guns. So on a stressful day when I dont really feel like drinking, I grab a DC from McD's. Yum! Satisfys the craving. Not that I crave alcohol like an alcoholic, but who doesnt like a cocktail when theyre stressed? Ok, well I'm not really stressed either. Anyhow, yea, I got my shit for school handled. I'm registered, took care of all that paperwork stuff, and now all I got left is to pay my tuition, and books. Anyone wanna pay it for me? just kidding. That is a nice thought though. I was looking through the catalog and I noticed that I only had two classes for a degree in Chemistry. Hmmm. Organic Chem I & II. Uh yeah, I dont think so, Nursing is tough as it is, besides Chem wont do anything for me, just like the two degrees I already got. Unless one wants to go into teaching and I dont, so with that being said, lets move on.
I'm supposed to go the market right now to grab a few things, I keep putting it off. My excuse right now is that my nails are drying. Earlier it was something else. Im bored and I just keep typing so I dont have to go, but I gotta, so Im gone.


July 25, 2008 - Friday
Rough Times. : ( Current mood: sick
To start off I've been sick for the past three days, I've been fighting a temperature day and night and up until today, I wasn't able to keep anything down, but now another reflex has kicked in (I know, I know TMI). I feel like crap and I'm hungry. I managed to have cup of bananas with apples early this morning but as soon as I put it down, I ran to the RR. My body aches and it feels like the flu. I have come to the conclusion that my insomnia has compromised my immunity making me susceptible to what ever virus that has decided to make my life a living hell. I guess it could be worse. To make matters worse, I get very dramatic when I'm sick. I like to be babied, who doesn't? I have practically barricaded my self in my room with Jack Johnson keeping me company 24/7 (Thanks J. for your impeccable taste in music). Rikki visited today, not knowing I was "sicky", but the company was great!
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Today was my Nana's (great-grandmother) 99th birthday. They had a birthday party for her at her rehabilitation facility. It had a great turn out and while I was reluctant to go due to my "flu", I scraped up the strength to get ready and go celebrate; After all, how many times does your GG turn 99 (Ok, I know only once, but how many people actually have a GG)? I am very fortunate to have her in my life. She is truly a blessing. My fever decided to break as soon as I got there so I began to sweat profusely. Not a pretty sight. I tried to stay away from everyone so I wouldn't get anyone sick, especially the elderly.

Well as far as the hurricane, fortunately we didn't have any damage. There was a lot of debris and one tree broke in half. It was pretty cool we were all sitting outside when it broke. I was very irritated from being sick and having lost power for a good 24 hours. It was extremely humid, and I think I changed my sheets a good three times through out the night (I hate sticky sheets!). Sheila and I decided to drive around the town to see what damage was caused and take some cool pics because we were so bored. Well I guess that's it for now.



July 20, 2008 - Sunday
I came by Rikki's today so we could have a girly day. And by girly day, I aint jokin. A day full of girly love movies and a night of drinking and boy bashing. (OOOH I cant wait!) I even made the perfect playlist for the night! Booz and booty shakin!
Aiden sure did crack me up today, I kept telling him I was in desperate need of a hug (he usually throws in a kiss too) but this time he didnt want to. He was on a mission, not sure what that was but I guess I was bothering him cause he yells from the living room "Get outta my grill." I sit up and I look at Rikki and I say "what the hell does he know about grillz". He's a freakin riot. We played catch outside becuase he was really bored and said we were the "Astros" like his team. And now he wants me to play golf with him. It's kinda hot so Im reluctant to go back out, not to mention the heat burns the sunburn that I alrady got yesterday from his game. I hear him calling, Cyndia (he does that on purpose), are you ready yet to go out and play baseball? how can I resist those puppy eyes. Again, arent you gonna play with me? I guess I cant keep ignoring him. Im off to play baseball and golf...


July 13, 2008 - Sunday
oN a MiSSiOn
I was surprised to find that I had actually slept all the way through 4 a.m. Perhaps it was the drive that got me tired, perhaps it was the crash from my Monster, well, no, I dont think it was my monster, I never really crash from it, and its not the one with all that sugar. I like the "blue" one. Anyhow I woke up at approximately 4:20, no, no significance to "Happy Time", that's not my thing, it was however, the time on my phone when I looked at it. So I return a few text messages, yes, at 4 in the morning. I managed to sleep through a few, so I'm pretty sure they wont wake up. Anyhow, my brain really isnt functioning right now, but I am focused enough to be on a mission. I had this stinging sensation between the eyes, OMG a blemish. Perhaps it was my glasses, or could it be that I have recently tweezed and now I have an ingrown, mostly caused by my glasses? Hmmm. I really dont know but I am pretty much tearing up my room trying to find this acne medication that is probably expired, that is because I hardly use any, dont remember the last time I did, and it doesnt help that I havent been home most of the summer so I completely forgot where everything is. I've gone through every drawer, every corner I can think of. I know I'll probably find it next week sometime when I stop looking for it. I guess I'll just resort to toothpaste (I think I saw on tv that toothpaste really doenst work) or some crushed aspirin, or who the hell gives a damn anyway. Why am I so concerned about a freakin pimple that can barely be seen (you'll be able to see it later cause I'll keep messin with it). I guess I can lay back down and try to sleep, which I know wont happen. Anyways I've spent awhile looking and a couple minutes blogging. Eh. Good Night! Or Morning!

1 comment:

The Teenage Years said...

And yes I do like it.
I got my violin today.