Time's a flyin'

I cant believe how fast time is going. Before I know it, Baby Matthew will be here (in roughly 11 weeks)... I don't think I'm ready just yet, besides, I'm barely starting to enjoy my pregnancy. Of course, I still have a million and one fears that go through my head everyday and the fact that I am such a hypochondriac seriously doesn't help, but I've learned to appreciate and enjoy this little piece of heaven.


I'm still eating too much :-/ and gaining too much... That reminds me, my grandpa calls me to check up on me and the baby and the other day he called and out of nowhere he asked if I was getting fat lol, I said yes... He reminded me of my Grammy... she was always concerned about my weight, and everyone else's lol. I remember the last night I was with her at the hospital before she passed away. She was on Bi-pap since her O2 Sats were very low so she couldn't speak, well I couldn't hear her and didn't want her to take off her mask, I told her I loved her and that I would check on her in the morning, both she and I knew that she probably wouldn't make it till the morning so she gave me a hug, we shed a tear or two trying to be strong, and she pat my tummy... I said, I know, I know... I'll watch my weight while rolling my eyes and grinning from ear to ear realizing that was the last thing she would ever tell me... Gosh, I miss her so much, it will be 2 years 9/11 and it still feels like yesterday. I wish she could be here to see Matthew, and the two other babies our family has been blessed with (Cousin Amy having a boy, and Cousin Melissa having a girl). Anyhow, grandpa really reminded me of grandma when he said that... it's just funny because that wasn't something I expected him to say or ask lol. Oh well, no offense taken, I've gained weight, it is what it is.


I did a little shopping today, even though I said I wasn't going to. I even shopped for myself, I bought some comfort sandals that I had been wanting... and some sneakers for work (last week). I actually feel kind of guilty for spending on myself, but I think I needed them, especially because my legs have been swelling like crazy (my BP is good so no worries yet). Speaking of swelling, seems like everything else is growing too... I'm starting to feel like a cow. I woke up this morning thanking God I didn't have utters between my legs, LOL. So the chafing I mentioned previously has stopped, partly due to the Lady Anti-Monkey Butt (Makes me laugh every time) and partly cause I stopped wearing those wretched maternity underwear. Yes, I still wear underwear, just not those... I'm back to my old faithfuls, but they are either starting to roll down in the front or ride up in the back... but all is good, cause NO CHAFING! Enough with the TMI...


I am still feeling very exhausted, I go to work and back and all I wanna do is take a nap. I did start walking like I mentioned I would (just not everyday so I don't think that helps much) I've been shopping more so that kinda counts lol. But yes... I am EXHAUSTED... WARNING DISCLAIMER: You do not want to wake up next to me, wake me up, or be in my path after a nap. Do so at your own risk. No, I don't wake up looking scary or with fiery dragon breath (but I do suffer from both occasionally in the morning lol, just being honest), I have been waking up with a bad mood from hell. I think it has to do with the fact that my mind is already refreshed from the nap, but my body isn't. It takes me a while to snap out of it... thankfully, I don't wake up like that in the morning, at least for my patients' sake. Speaking of naps/sleep, I'm ready to hit the sack and start a new week. P.S. I don't like Mondays :-/

Happy Mother's Day

<-- My beautiful Momma

This has probably been the best Mother's Day EVER! Not for me (I don't count yet) but just the fact that I got to spend it with my mother, something I hadn't been able to do in such a long time. Sending cards and gifts across the miles just isn't the same as spending quality mother/daughter time. I've been spoiling my mom for the past two weeks, so in all, I'd have to say this has probably been the best Mother's Day she has ever had... well since before my brother and I left home and we got to spend it all together. I had plans to visit my hometown this weekend but many factors played into not making the trip... besides the fact that all I wanna do is sleep the minute I sit my butt down in a vehicle. With no one helping me drive the 8-9 hour trip (depends on traffic and potty breaks) along with bills, saving up for my little bundle of joy, and of course THE FACT THAT IT'S MOTHER'S DAY, I decided not to go. Unfortunately I cant make everyone happy and this weekend my mother was my priority. I would have loved to have been there to see my family and friends but I had to make a choice. Mom and I spent the whole day together yesterday and we had such a great time. We hadn't spent alone time practically the entire time I've been here... well, she has been accompanying me on my doctor's visits but those are usually stressful for me and well, we usually just do lunch, if that.

Our day started off kind of late, I've been feeling very exhausted so I woke up Saturday morning around 9 am. We went to look at some stuff for my baby shower, had lunch at Peter Piper Pizza (guess we were both just in the mood... I swear you'd say she is the pregnant one with all the cravings lol), we relaxed with mother/daughter mani/pedi's, and then she got to do a little shopping for her self. I've been needing new sneakers for work but yet again, I managed to not spend a penny on myself... well, besides lunch and the mani/pedi. At the end of the day, mom treated me to some Coldstone ice cream YUM. We were both tuckered out, me with my swollen and aching feet and what felt like waddling to each new destination and mom limping from pain (she is still not 100% after her surgery a year and a half ago). I cant complain... the day was great and being with my mom was the best. We had plans for church this morning, which was very nice followed by breakfast at a Mexican restaurant. We pretty much came home and spent the day here. We had other plans that fell through... someone (and I wont mention any names, but I will say was not my mother or myself) was being Oscar the Grouch. I get in a bad mood easily so that set me off. I cant stand when people shit on my parade, if you wanna have a pity party don't invite me!

Anyhow, besides the grump, my weekend was awesome! I even got an early mother's day gift, A SWEDISH MASSAGE. Nope, it wasn't a full body massage but more like an abdominal massage, lol, Baby Matthew is taking after his great grandma Minnie and has already picked up some massage therapy skills in utero. I can only imagine what he will be like when he is 4 and all I have to say is rub Mamma's feet and I'll give you a dollar... but I don't want to speed up time, I want to enjoy every minute of him when he gets here.

I may not be a mommy yet, but I have celebrated this day in my own special way for the past 5 years. My little Angel is always in my heart and there is never a day that I forget. I often wonder what life would be like, but God has a reason for everything and it's not for me to ask why, but rather to accept and know my Angel had a divine purpose.

The Cat's out of the Bag

I mentioned previously that I was afraid to tell my bosses at work that I am expecting. During my first week of office training, I swore I heard something along the lines of a pregnant woman being turned away... as it turns out, I guess I was just paranoid. There is a saying in Spanish, "el sordo no oye pero compone", translating to “the deaf man can’t hear, but he can make it up.” I was so focused on my testing/training and worried that I wouldn't get hired because I was pregnant that I guess I heard what I wanted to hear... you know how that goes. Well it turns out some people from work had already found out but that's life in a small town. Unfortunately word got out on Facebook, It apparently was one of my mom's acquaintances since I don't know anyone in town, nor did I tell anyone. Well you know people... they like to talk. I was more than furious, I will say though, if I wasn't pregnant, I would really give this town something to talk about. Anyhow, my bosses were fine with it, so they said. They expressed to me everything was OK, thankfully, it was. I felt so dumb after the fact, I went into talk to my boss after our weekly meeting and I started tearing up in the office lol. It's the hormones. I hate that I am more emotional that ever. I'm just glad I don't have anything hanging over my head anymore. Work continues to go well. I wish I was better/more efficient at the paperwork but I know that all comes in due time.


Speaking of due time... going on 25 weeks. 15 weeks and 2 days to go Wow! Time sure goes by fast, I just wish I could enjoy it more rather than being worried all the time. We started to shop a little, mostly for baby shower stuff and it's pretty exciting. I bought some baby shoes and a little onsie, oh, and a couple of blankies. I think I will definitely wait till later to do more shopping. The idea of having a baby is finally starting to set in but I'm still a little in denial lol. I guess it really wont hit me till he's here. I think calling him by his name is definitely helping... Matthew... Music to my ears <3 <3 <3 Heartburn has become my worst enemy. Everything and I mean EVERYTHING gives me heartburn even water. UGH! There's an old wives's tale that if you get a lot of heartburn, the baby will have lots of hair when it's born. Well, I don't know about that but time will tell. Tum's and I and BFF's these days. Baby's moving around a lot. Especially when my mom barges into my room, shakes my belly and starts singing to him. He is definitely a lot like me so far, he is up late and likes to sleep in but since I have to wake up early for work... well, let's just say we're both not happy campers. I finally got my 4-D sonogram. If that wasn't the most beautiful sight I have ever seen, I don't know what is. When I see the image, I can see two different things, one with his profile, mouth closed and then another with the mouth open and slightly higher with a tiny nose between the his eyes (the second option is kind of scary... so Ill just go with the first one where his mouth is closed) They didn't exactly tell me, and well, I didn't exactly ask, I was just so happy to see him. He had his hand tucked under his chin (just not in the picture) ADORABLE! What can I say? That's my baby. So he is definitely a boy and I couldn't be happier. I just need to sit back and enjoy the rest of this pregnancy instead of being such a hypochondriac. The specialist looked at all his organs and said so far good. They want to monitor his heart closely so, I have another appointment with the specialist in a month and with my regular OB, in two weeks. I saw his kidneys, his the four chambers in his heart, his brain, his spine, feet, and hands. The doctor said his foot was over his head (wow his is just as limber as me lol, well I'm not so much these days). When the specialist took over, this little baby boy gave him a hard time. He moved too much at my 7 week sono to get a good measurement, he moved way too much at my 10 week sono (the doctor almost gave up, but after 50 minutes of pushing on my full bladder and almost having an accident, we got his measurements), When we found out his sex, he didn't want to cooperate, and yet again with this appointment. Mom says he is shy, I say he is just as stubborn as I am... Lord help me!


While I couldn't be happier that I'm having a baby, I am starting to feel self-conscious, something I RARELY had an issue with. I am gaining way too much weight. I don't fit in any pre-pregnancy clothes so I went maternity clothes shopping a while back. I thought it would be a good idea to get some maternity underwear. I spent 45 bucks on new panties and I HATE THEM! Motherhood sure has expensive stuff and the quality is not so good, In my opinion. I like that the pants cinch at the waist (when I'm not wearing them) so it looks as if my waist is the width of my leg (makes me feel good lol), and then there are the maternity underwear. My new underwear look like parachutes :-/ Why cant they have that cool elastic thing around the waist too? As it is I already have a complex about my weight gain. My face looks fatter, I feel like I have three necks, my feet feel like they have grown a size, I cant see my crotch, and my thighs rub together now (not good). We all know what happens when your thighs rub... yup, chaffing. I think it's a combination of thunder thighs and my new horrible underwear. It just baffles me that Motherhood cant even make seamless underwear. They literally feel like the .99 cent panties on the clearance rack at Walmart, CHEAP. Anyhow, Mom and I went to Tractor Supply Company and Guess what I saw... Lady Anti Monkey Butt LOL

I thought it was the funniest thing ever and I just had to try it out, it's for chaffing and has calamine lotion but in a silky, powdery form. It smells nice lol. I was going to get the KY anti-chaffing/silkening lotion but I saw this one first. It was this, or not wearing any panties at all. I think I'd rather wear underwear, besides I don't want to give Paris Hilton and Lindsey Lohan competition. I'd win hands down... Just saying. lol. So we'll see how this powder goes.