My Angel

Grandma's birthday is just around the corner, 5 days in fact. Not a day goes by that I don't think of her and how I wished she was here to see my beautiful son and give me countless advice, much of which I probably wouldn't ask for but being the grandma she was, she'd give it anyway. I just know she would have adored him (along with Jacob and Alice, the other new additions to our family this year). I remember her last birthday with us like it was yesterday... She was so upset about it. She had cancer but believed with every breathe in her body she would beat it. She was upset with every gathering since her diagnosis because she said we were getting together like it was her last one... we never really knew when the last one would be, so we cherished each and every one. Even though she was upset, she got over it cause she always loved parties... she liked the attention. She used to say my grandpa got all the attention lol. Well, 2 years have come and gone since her passing, I can still smell her perfume... which were actually mine but she loved the scents so she would use them all. I can still feel her hands, they were rough and dry (kinda like how your hands feel after using clorox) and her knuckles were very bony and large from arthritis. She hated her hands, but that's what I loved the most about her. Those hands caressed my face, wiped my tears, patted me to sleep, and held my own. I'll never forget them. I see her in my dreams from time to time and it brings me peace, I wake up feeling like for just a moment, she was here again. Matthew smiles a lot during his sleep (as most babies do), I like to think that my grandma is whispering to him. I know she is our guardian angel, and that brings me comfort. I can honestly say, she was the best grandma in the world and I was so lucky to have her... Happy Birthday Grammy... I love you!