Shy Guy

This week started my bi-weekly appointments which means I have to make the hour (OK... almost an hour) drive to Waco to have my OB check-ups. I seriously HATE the drive, not 'cause I go alone these days but because I want to just pull over and take a nap. No, I wont pass out on the way, just saying... but if anyone knows me, I'm the type who gets in a vehicle and passes out when I'm not the one driving. I think I was one of those babies that was driven around to get to shut up and go to sleep lol. Matthew is pretty calm when I drive around... maybe he'll be like me in that way too. Anyhow, so I go to my appointments so they can make sure Matthew is doing well. They do a biophysical profile (has two parts; ultrasound and a non stress test) that basically measures the baby's health, they monitor his heart rate with a non-stress test and they do the sono, in which they monitor the fluid around the baby (my biggest problem right now), movements, breathing, among other things. In a nutshell, they basically score the quality of life in the womb vs. outside the womb. So far so good in the oven even though our biggest concern is the fluid levels (normal but barely) which, as I mentioned previously, I lost a lot of during Memorial weekend. Anyhow, They weighed Matthew today and he is at a healthy 4 lbs 10 oz... that's good for his gestational age... at least I think that is... I read my chart today and it said 37th percentile... So, I'm just glad he isn't HUGE or underdeveloped. My favorite part of the testing is that I get to see him on the screen. So the sonographer said, "YAY! He is still a boy"... Umm... I would hope so. As usual he was covering his face, this time with both hands (what a shy little guy) so I didn't even get to see his face... and that meant no pics for me today... and speaking of... I'm getting a little spoiled with the sono pics... Most people are lucky if they get two or three opportunities to see their baby... Well, my pregnancy is complicated, so I guess I have special privileges. I just wish I could get a really awesome 4-d picture, but the limited amount of fluid around his face prevents a clear picture ;( I'm just happy knowing my baby is safe and healthy... and that I get to see him twice a week now. I think it's funny when I'm sitting in the NST (non stress test) room and I over hear people's conversations... It's a row of 5 or 6 recliners where they hook the mom up to the monitors... The other day this young couple was talking and apparently they both worked at H-E-B... So the boyfriend asks the girl... so when do you plan on going back to work? The girl says... OMG, I'm still pregnant, how do you expect me to go back... lol. I asked her how far along she was a while later... 22 weeks... SERIOUSLY! LOL I went back to work after a freakin' heat stroke. And today... this girl goes in with her mom and two other girls (her mom was popping pills and looked a little high lol) the older girl of the two started talking about the pregnant girls stretch marks and said "OMG that looks ugly... I'm getting someone to have my baby", then she asks... "EEWWW, what's that mark in the middle of your stomach... ugh... that's so nasty" lol. Then she goes on to say that when she has her baby (yeah, I know... what happened to her having someone to have her baby?) she wants it recorded and she doesn't care who's up in her "junk" and that she wants a mirror to see. I'm just glad I got moved to the sono room shortly after that, not sure how much more of that idiot I could tolerate... What an airhead... SERIOUSLY... and she was 21 or 22.
Things are moving along with the baby shower... 9 more days. I get to go home and hopefully see everyone again. I really want to go to the beach but anytime I mention that I want to do something I get scolded like a two year old... "Now... You know... you're not doing anything that weekend... You better not even sit outside." Hello! as if I didn't learn my lesson... I'm not about to jeopardize my baby again (and it's not like last time was even on purpose... it just happened cause it was so freakin' hot and apparently I'm not used to the heat anymore). Today at dinner I just mentioned how I would love to go swimming and I heard an ear full... It's not like I was really gonna go, I don't even take a bath in the tub (mostly cause I feel like a whale these days). I know everyone is concerned so I might as well just not say anything that is gonna get me in trouble. Oh well...
After this week... 6 more weeks to go... I'm starting to feel a little apprehensive. Yes, I'm excited but waaaay nervous at the same time. I guess that's expected and I know I'm not the only one. I try not to think about it much because it doesn't do me any good. Doc said 50/50 chance of a c-section... I guess maybe that's the statistic for everyone... I haven't asked. It's all just a little overwhelming and while I am very excited, I still cant believe in a few short weeks my life will be completely changed for the better. AND I WILL BE A MOM! I never would have thought it... I see all his baby clothes and it seems unreal... It's like I'm 5 again and I'm buying clothes for my doll. I've purchased diapers and they are so small... they smell like baby... and then I think... "well, they wont smell like baby after he poops" lol. I smelled a can of formula the other day and thought that it smelled like baby vomit, or you know how there are some stinky babies cause their milk sits in the folds of the neck when they spill and the parents don't clean it (I don't know about y'all, but I know a few). Anyway, there is still time to get accustomed to all that, for now, I'm gonna try and enjoy the rest of my pregnancy. I think I'm gonna miss feeling him move inside of me the most even, when it hurts. There were times where I didn't feel him moving and it was a scary thought thinking something could be wrong, even now, if he doesn't move when I wake up, I get paranoid.. but I've chilled out a bit 'cause I know he sleeps too . I told Matthew I wouldn't complain if he hurt me as long as I felt him move... I'd rather feel something that nothing at all. I cant explain what it feels like... but it' a gift, and I am ever so grateful! <3

Oh Baby, baby, baby...

OK, I'm really not gonna bust out singing to Justin Bieber's (however you spell it) song, although the song is quite catchy. I have to admit I've gotten lazy keeping everyone updated on the latest 411... What can I say other than I am hella exhausted. The last few weeks have been less than favorable but things have definitely turned around... for the better. So apparently I had a heat stroke/heat exhaustion over Memorial weekend... As if I didn't know the RGV sucks the life out of you... literally. I sweat like a pig the entire weekend and didn't replenish my fluids, unfortunately that ended up taking from Matthew's amniotic fluid. My poor baby was kicking around in a puddle. It started with a severe migraine that was originally thought was caused by increased cerebral spinal fluid... and after what felt like 20 spinal taps and little relief from the pain, it was discovered to be a dehydration migraine. I had an OB for a follow up ( I had just started feeling better and ready to get back to work) where it was discovered that my amniotic fluid was low, VERY LOW. I was admitted to the hospital and then transferred via helicopter to Austin where I was told to prepare for the worst... Baby Matthew was to be delivered at 28 weeks. I tried to be strong and broke down a couple times; I wasn't prepared to have a baby I couldn't take home, much less a baby I couldn't hold for over a week... And not to mention, I still haven't purchased all the much needed baby stuff (crib, car seat, stroller... all the good stuff). Let's just say I wasn't prepared. Being a nurse, I've seen babies in the NICU, which are quite resilient, but when it's your baby all your nursing skills and knowledge go out the window. Miraculously, the day after I was flown in to Austin my amniotic fluid had doubled (still dangerously low but didn't warrant an emergency delivery). I was kept on a modified bed rest (I could only get up to use the RR) and had IV's and monitors attatched. So in all, two weeks in an out of the hospital sucked the big one. I'm just glad to be out with Matthew still baking in the oven. I couldn't have done it with out my mom by my side... she truely is a angel. While I was knocked out on Ambien, mom was awaken each time the nurse came in to check on me, labs were due, or baby snuck away from the monitor... which was just about every hour. She was pretty much sleep deprived for three weeks checking up on me in the middle of the night even when we were home. I'm proud to be her daughter and I'm lucky to have her. We've got a couple more weeks to go till I get to hold my precious baby boy! Things obviously are looking up now, I have appointments bi-weekly now, meaning I have to drive almost an hour twice a week (AND THE GAS... UGH!) to see the doc, but as long as I know my baby is being monitored and doing well, I wont complain more than I already have. I still haven't made all the important baby purchases, and I'm not sure what I'm waiting on... but me and procrastination go hand in had... Guess I didn't learn from the big scare :-/
So the last RGV trip made me a little homesick... well not homesick per say, but it made my miss all my friends and family. Home didn't seem quite like home anymore since my room didn't even have a trace of my existence... Not even one. Everything was taken out the back guest/storage room and even though they were my belongings, they didn't even feel like mine. I didn't miss them... I guess I just moved on, I mean... what else are you supposed to do. That's life. Spending time with everyone was nice, even if it was just for a bit. Leaving was easier than I thought, especially since I woke up with that horrible migraine that lasted two weeks. I get to see everyone again in a few weeks for my baby shower but knowing how fragile I apparently have become to the RGV heat, I know I cant do much but stay indoors and drink lots of fluids; My baby's health and safety come first now and considering I dont want my brain to become cesos rancheros again, I'll definitely avoid being out too much. I wish we didn't have to travel for the shower but truth of the matter is everyone lives too far away to come here and well, I don't really know anyone here. I guess I don't make friends well... I don't play well with others... LOL JK, I guess I just haven't felt the need to socialize. Mom and I worked on some baby shower decorations today... they look super cute if you ask me... what can I say ;)
OOOOHHH! I got new pics of Matthew. The 4d pic didn't come out too clear since the fluid is low around his face but he is still the most handsome baby boy if you ask me. I got to see his family jewels again and I even got a pic of his foot (it's a big foot lol). We got a 15 minute video as well, it shows him breathing which is really cool... you can see his ribs moving in and out with each little breath. GOSH... I am soooo in love with this baby. How is it possible to love someone so much when you have never even met them before? So I'm gonna post the new pics and call it a night.

(yeah... it's sideways)