Thursday, March 11, 2010


“The greatest barrier to success is the fear of failure.”

I HATE when I start to dwell on my future. I've been through this before and aside from it holding me back, it really gets my nerves on edge and truthfully, its the last thing I need right now. I have a final tomorrow for my Leadership and Managment class. I've studied for it and I feel good about it, but that is the least of my worries. I have approximately one month left of my Med/Surg class before I start preceptorship, which I've already selected my options: ER at the main trauma center near my hometown, or the ER at a local children's hospital... What can I say, I like the rush. Before I can even allow myself to get excited about it much less think about preceptorship I need to get through the course. I have this constant fear that I'm not gonna make it. The way I see it is that this fear can either be beneficial and make me work harder than ever and get through it, or it can really affect my focus. First exam I did great, second exam... not so great. I dont know where I went wrong. I studied my ass off and perhaps I studied too much, but I dont really think that's possible. I walked out of my last exam thinking I Ace'd it, I actually failed it. It stopped me right in my tracks wondering where I went wrong. So I've had two exams, yes, I'm passing but I am not where I want to be. I was really hoping to build myself a little safety net, and unfortunately I dont have that. I had all these great plans for spring break which unfortunately are not gonna happen for me (our next exam is the Monday after spring break... THANK YOU teachers for being an official cock block to all the nursing students). AND LET ME TELL YOU...It's a sacrifice I have NO problem WHATSOEVER submiting to. I know if I leave I wont focus and study so OBVIOUSLY IT'S NOT WORTH IT (for me anyway). I was planning on taking a road trip with one of my besties to H-town... I was totally gonna be a groupie for her hottie baby brother, That's right... I was gonna get my cougar claws on! >^..^< RAWR!!! (Just kidding Missy... a little but not really ;)) but that fell through. So after my exam tomorrow I'm gonna head out to Corpus and come back and hit the books like no body's business. I think I'm gonna take my recorded lectures to listen to them on the way... LAME I know but I gotta fit in some study time any chance I get. Anyhow back to my point... I stress out so much that I know for a fact I hold myself back. That's my fear, not making it out. I think about my future and it frightens me... I just need to get over it, do what I gotta do, and "Git er done"! I'll keep y'all posted. WISH ME LUCK!♣

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