Time...

They say time flies when you're having fun, or at least when your keeping busy anyway, but when you are stuck at home with nothing to do it seems to drag on . I can seriously hear the second hand on the clock ticking away, what is even more disturbing is hearing the silence between each second. I suppose I could use my time more productively but what's better than sitting on your ass at home watching three straight hours of Grey's Anatomy on Lifetime... OK, I'm just kidding... Seriously! I'd much rather be out chillin' with my friends, but they're at work or school, besides... the auntie left for vacation and I'm here attempting to keep grandpa company so he is not all alone (I don't think I'm doing that great of a job since I've been in my room for the past 2 and half hours watching Grey's). And I suppose I could go out and look for a job but unfortunately it's all done online. That interview I mentioned previously was rescheduled for this coming Monday, and yes... that was a WHOLE two weeks. I'm still very excited and hoping this could be my chance to get my skills to good use, at least until I can get a job at the hospital. I am seriously fiending for some action. OK, so you wanna know how bad it is? I was fiddling with my stethoscope so I decided to listen to my own bowel sounds. Yep... I would take a sip from my drink and listen to it go down. It was the best thing ever and it kept me entertained for about 30 minutes, lol. OK it really wasn't but I was extremely bored lol. What? Don't judge. It was waaaay better than twiddling my thumbs (it really isn't the cure for boredom). I just hope the job market doesn't keep me out of work for much longer, I've been unemployed for the past four years and I am definitely ready to jump into the workforce. Actually I am really ready for my first pay check! lol.

Enough ranting about how bored I am...

This past weekend went very well. My Momma came into town for the holiday/vacation. As usual, spending quality time with her is always the best. They drove down in my step dad's truck so mom doesn't drive it unless absolutely necessary because her back hurts (discectomy and fusion back in Dec.) so I pretty much drove her around town. I joked about driving Ms. Daisy... she didn't find it as amusing as I did. She is still having a hard time dealing about the loss of her sister, which is understandable. All I can do is listen, I mean... what can one say? I just offer her an ear and a shoulder if she needs one. My brother met up with mom and I the first day she was here. It was nice hanging out, just us three, like it was when we were little. Times like these make me appreciate the value of family and unity mother instilled in us. I try to remind my brother of that occasionally. He moved down a couple months ago saying he needed to be here for grandpa and help him out, he rarely spends time with him (or me for that matter) and comes over just to feed his dog. One day he will realize that life is not guaranteed and how valuable one's word can be. But besides that we are very close and will always be "The Three Musketeers", I love my family to pieces. Here we are being goofy... (me, brother, mom)

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So I was completely bored out of my mind, so bored that I decided I would go put gas in my truck just to do something. I put gas and decide that I want a Pickadilly (snowcone with pickles and kool-aid powder...MMMmmmm DELICIOSO) Anyhow, the Raspa (snowcone) stand by our house happened to be closed for some unknown reason, I mean seriously??? It's sprinkling outside, people still want their raspas. So I decide to hit up another stand about a mile (maybe less) away... And much to my surprise, THAT STAND TOO WAS CLOSED. WTF!!! ;( I wasn't ready to head back home yet so I decide to drive to a near by city to get my diet coke (I hadn't had my fix today) at Stripes (formerly Circle K); I was just trying to find something to do. So I get my soda, hop back in my truck and it doesn't turn on. Great! JUST FREAKIN' GREAT! Of course, it's just my luck to have vehicular problems. I text my brother (who I am already frustrated with because he said he was gonna go spend time with me and he didn't) and tell him he needs to come rescue me... Always a damsel in distress. He and my SIL get there and get my truck going. She decides to throw the the "L" on the forehead sign (L-O-S-E-R) so I throw her the bird (I know my mom is prolly reading this saying OMG Cynthia... I did not teach you that. lol.) Anyway, to make a long story short I buy the part he thinks is needed, turns out it's the battery. Well, my truck isn't up and running today, but hopefully tomorrow. I am just so thankful I have a brother I can count on when I need rescuing. I hate having to bother my dad, when it is his responsibility... at least till I get married... NOW THAT I THINK OF IT, THAT IS WHY EVERYONE IS TRYING TO GET ME HITCHED...I GUESS I FINALLY FIGURED IT OUT. LOL.

TWO SISTERS AND A FUNERAL

It's never easy letting go. They say time heals all wounds but from personal experience, I'm not really sure it does, it just gives us more time to accept what is and remember all the beautiful memories that were left behind. Today my aunt was laid to rest and aside from realizing I will never see her beautiful eyes and illuminating smile again, my heart aches for my cousin who has lost her mother and best friend. I am at a loss for words and cant seem to find them in my heart to console her. Sometimes the gentlest touch or embrace can mean more to someone than words, that is something I have plenty of. Somber faces wept and hearts ached but as my mother and I drove away we began to embrace the memories my mom shared with her big sister, after all, that is all my mother has left of her. Memories of childhood, teenage drama and the heartbreaks, and the slumber parties they shared recently after she was diagnosed with cancer. Tears flow from her face followed by a chuckle here and there as she remembered the good ole days. As sisters, they had their ups and downs, who doesn't? But ultimately the love of a sister or sibling is so strong that can surpass anything and is like no other,unique in their own way. My cousin is an only child but is far from alone, she has a loving family and the most amazing and supportive friends anyone could ask for. My mother loses a sister and inherits the best gift her sister could leave behind, her beautiful daughter (even though she is grown, a few months older than me to be exact), my brother and I gain a sister. No, mom can never take the place of my beautiful aunt, nor will she try, but the same blood that ran through my aunt runs through mother's veins, so any time her heart aches she can reach out to her family for she always has her place as one of mother's own. We Love you Kimmie. ♥

Just so there is no confusion, Mom and Aunt Jean were not the only two,there were a total of 9 siblings, 5 sisters, 4 brothers.

And on another note... those that follow this blog, as you can tell, I updated the blog to cute owls. They were my aunts favorite, according to my cousin Kim, she said my aunt said they protected her.

Nora Jean

My aunt, Nora Jean, passed away Thursday evening after battling cancer. Actually, it was exactly two months from the day she was diagnosed (03/27/2010 to 05/27/2010). Unfortunately the cancer was caught late and was very aggressive. Her chance for survival was slim even with radiation and chemotherapy, but we all had hope. Sometimes hope and faith are the only thing you have to hang on to; It's what keeps you going. I remember getting the call from mom telling me about my aunt (her sister). I sat in my truck in the hospital parking lot 2 nerves short of an anxiety attack trembling and crying. I wasn't sure I could do this again (I recently lost my grams on my dad's side to cancer 8 months ago) but I knew I had to, for my mom's sake. I had to be there on her behalf when she couldn't because she lives 8 hours away. There was no place else I would have rather been than spending each moment I could with my aunt and my cousin Kimmie. I cant say that my aunt and I were close, but I loved her nonetheless. I knew I had to be there for my cousin; losing a grandmother is different from losing a mother but we were both care takers, so I hope even just the little advice I could offer helped. My heart goes out to my cousin, she was an only child but no matter what, she is not alone. She is lucky to have wonderful friends who have stuck by her and a special someone who is by her side to lift her up when she is down and encourage her.

Mom was on her way the night she passed away, she was a few hours short of seeing her before she took her last breath. I don't know what it is like to lose a sibling but if it was any consolation, I tried to tell her that it was for the best and she has wonderful memories. As difficult as it was, I was able to be there in her final hours. I held her hand and caressed her, I wiped her tears and whispered words of encouragement letting her know she fought courageously and I was proud of her. I told her my mother was on her way and she loved her very much. I would update mom every hour and to check up on her since she was traveling alone and in intense back pain. My cousin Laura and I took a break and went to have some dinner at a near by restaurant when I got a call from my mom telling me she saw the most beautiful rainbow as she was driving, it was sunny out. I arrived back to Kimmie and my aunt's home where I learned she took a turn for the worst while we had been out. I put two and two together and that rainbow was a sign from my aunt to my mom. When she passed away, I didn't have the heart to tell my mom. She knew something was wrong when the calls stopped but was afraid to call us and hear bad news. She pushed through the pain and arrived at my cousin's home at 1:30 AM only to find her sister gone. It was quite an emotional day/evening. It breaks my heart to be unable to console my mother, but I tried as best as I could.

We have had an emotional couple days and the services start tomorrow so I have to be strong for my cousin, mom, and the rest of the family. It is only natural to be selfish and want her here with us but she is in a better place now, a place with no pain and suffering.

“You can shed tears that she is gone,
or you can smile because she has
lived.
You can close your eyes and pray that she'll come back,
or you
can open your eyes and see all she's left.
Your heart can be empty because
you can't see her,
...or you can be full of the love you shared.
You can
turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday,
or you can be happy for
tomorrow because of yesterday.
You can remember her only that she is gone,
or you can cherish her memory and let it live on.
You can cry and close
your mind,
be empty and turn your back.
Or you can do what she'd want:
smile, open your eyes, love and go on.”

(Mom (Mary Ann) and Aunt Nora Jean)

(Nora Jean)

Autumn in the Valley...

The weather appears to be letting up... FINALLY! And while I know I shouldn't hold my breath and I probably just jinxed the entire Valley, I must admit I have been enjoying the cool weather at 85 degrees (F). That is fresh for our area and guess what? Some nights I even get to wear a cute and fashionable sweater. All year long we experience scorching temperatures with intense humidity minus a couple months of Valley cold fronts (60-80 degrees). Everyday is a bad hair day and expect to sweat. I feel like a pair of sweaty, sticky balls that have marinated in gym shorts all day long (What? Guys say that all the time). There are some days where it is so hot my my jeans stick to my ass and thighs that I am ever so tempted to apply a cool patch to my crotch. Not a nice feeling. But like I said, the temperature has dropped the air feels crisp and it actually feels like Fall.


OK, so our trees don't turn beautiful colors (unless you think silver barren trees are lovely) and we don't get to run around in scarves and winter attire, but we do make the best of it. We watch football and BBQ with a beer in hand. We get to wear flip flops all year long. Some days we even get to wear shorts and light sweater (OK I admit that's a little tacky) and our sunsets are beautiful.

We almost have a BBQ every weekend. I made some caramel apples. CAN YOU SAY YUMMY! And I baby sat my nephew this past weekend. I took him to the park and to Donna's Corn Maze. WE HAD A BLAST!

Here are some pics that I've taken that make me thankful for this beautiful season!

My Famous Caramel Apples

My nephew on Hay Bale Mountain
Corn from the Corn Maze

Getting Lost in the corn Maze (More corn)
Aiden at the park

Watching the other kids play

Sunset at the park (Fire in the Sky)